Chasing Me Chasing You

An attempt to balance children, work, and my husband without losing my submission and myself.

Cum-uppance

The timber slats of the sun lounge were pushing into me, not uncomfortably, but enough to provide me with some distraction. Which for this challenge is welcome. I’m not sure I’m going to last fifteen minutes without coming. Stephen seems very intent on winning this challenge, set by Sir as a punishment for being caught during the hunt and to provide Stephen with his shot at redemption for our scene several months ago…

When we returned from the hunt Sir motioned me over to him. Giving Michael a quick peck on the cheek, I let go of his arm and approached Sir. As I approached he bade me to kneel at his feet. Once in position he proceeded to talk to me about my experience of the hunt. It was also when he told me about my punishment for being found twice. Nothing is ever simple when Sir is in this frame of mind. One that I love seeing, my uber Dom, even if he’s a little scary.

He tends to get like this when we are around other Doms. Especially if he has allowed them to play with me. I know he would have been happier if I had come back from the hunt without being found. Then no other Dom would have been able to touch me without his direct control.

But it wouldn’t be a challenge would it, without some consequence for failing? And Sir didn’t disappoint. It turns out that Josh had met Stephen a few months ago and they’d got to talking about the plans for this weekend. Stephen is a well known exponent of the whip and it turns out he has agreed to a demonstration tonight ahead of the planned bonfire.

Obviously to put on a demonstration he needs a subject.

When Sir mentioned it, initially I thought that this could be a win-win. A hard drawn out orgasm, followed by a whipping. Mmmm, I might have got a little moist at the thought. But then reality was re-established. As the orgasm challenge was being set up by Sir, Stephen went and retrieved his instrument of choice that he was going to demonstrate tonight.

Fuck me if he didn’t pull out of his bag of tricks a full on bullwhip. Something I’d only seen previously in a video from Kink.com. My initial enthusiasm disappeared very quickly. So, I’m thinking that the next fifteen minutes are going to be less than satisfying. No orgasm saves me from the whipping. Sometimes it sucks being a slave.

I’m bought back to the present as I feel the rope on my wrists being tightened securing my arms behind me and underneath the sun lounge. The position I’m in isn’t all that uncomfortable but I am feeling very exposed. Who else would have thought of using the lounge like this but a pair of sadistic doms?

So here I am lying on the lounge, the back rest in an elevated position putting me into a half reclining position. Each leg is bent with my feet secured at the side of the lounge. Another rope is looped around each thigh and has been pulled back taught and secured against the arm rest splaying my hips and fully exposing my now moistening pussy. I can even smell my burgeoning arousal and I’m sure that the gathering of men can too. Seems everyone has found a reason to be present in the shaded yard to watch my next ordeal.

I’ve also got a rope around my chest, just under my boobs securing me firmly to the lounge. And of course my arms are tied behind my back which pushes my boobs out invitingly. The only concession to any comfort is my head is resting on the padded rest. I’m a bit surprised that Stephen hasn’t added a blind fold to heighten the sensations but I suppose an audience of virile and appreciative spectators serves the same purpose.

It looks like Stephen is about to start the timer and try and extract an orgasm from me sometime in the next fifteen minutes. Thankfully Sir didn’t want this to be too easy and he has banned the use of any electrical or vibrating devices. I may have let out an audible ‘whew’ when he put that restriction in place. Stephen was going to have to work for it and damn if I wasn’t going to fight to avoid that bullwhip.

Hmmm, that’s a bit odd. Stephan has started to bring me to orgasm by a very slow and deliberate stroking of my inner thighs and across my vulva. I was anticipating an all out assault on my clit. If he keeps this up he might just get me to orgasm. It’s been such a long time since someone has been this gentle. It might just be enough to get inside my head. It’s like he’s making slow sweet love to me. I can feel myself getting wetter and a small moan escapes my lips, giving him some encouragement.

Just as I’m relaxing into the wonderful sensations building throughout my body, I remember to keep my focus from getting too excited. Next I feel Stephen leaning into me. I then hear him whispering that I needn’t worry about getting too settled. He lets out a bit of a sinister laugh and mentions that he just taking his time. He intends to use all of his fifteen minutes to tease me before he confidently predicts that he will force me to orgasm. I don’t say anything, but I do think ‘give it your best shot’ and ‘bring it on’. I look over at Sir so he can see the steel determination on my face. Our eyes connect and his lip curls into an inaudible, ‘good girl’.

Next I feel Stephen’s fingers starting to rub between my labia, gently opening me up to his gaze. Then he slowly inserts first one finger, and then a second into my vagina. I’m so turned on I’m leaking quite heavily. My breathing is becoming labored and I can feel my whole body begin to flush. A little layer of sweat is forming on my brow. He continues using his fingers to open me up further. He maintains his maddeningly slow pace. I’m starting to get frustrated at this very slow and methodical pace. Bastard! I say to myself.

Stephen’s slow fingering continues, my arousal builds and I’m so wet now I suspect that he has three or more fingers working up inside of me but I can’t be sure. Even closing my eyes and focusing on my breathing doesn’t bring me back down.

I catch some movement out of the corner of my eye. I turn my head and see both Julie and Bianca coming down to join the men watching the challenge. I’m glad I’m putting on such a good show for the assembled masses.

Oh silly me, of course they’re not here to observe as I watch them kneel in front of their respective masters and promptly open their trousers and fish out their hardening cocks. I now feel like I’m the porno playing in the background as they set about worshiping some cock. My momentary embarrassment turns to interest as I watch the women at their task.

My attention is quickly bought back to Stephen as he starts to move his hand a bit more urgently and forcefully. Very soon it feels as if he’s trying to fist me. So far I’ve been able to keep my focus. Sure I’m aroused as hell, but I’m a long way from an explosive orgasm. I do feel that this is going to take all of my concentration not to cum. As he continues to try and fit his whole hand inside of me, his other hand comes into action as he rubs his thumb slowly on my erect clit. Next he squeezes it between his thumb and forefinger. The extra sensation causes a deep moan to escape my lips.

‘Enjoying yourself”, he quips. This new approach continues for a short while. I hear Sir’s voice next announcing the ten minute mark. As if this was some prearranged signal I feel a decided change in Stephen’s approach. He starts being more urgent, thrusting his hand ever deeper into my moist core. I feel his other hand leave my now sensitive and abused clit and movie up my stomach.

I next experience a sharp pain in my left nipple as he squeezes and twists it. Oh my, that’s so hot. It almost brings me undone but I steady my thoughts once again. Next I feel him attacking my right nipple. As much as his attempts feel amazing, I know he’s now racing the clock. And the brat in me really wants him to lose. To earn Sir’s approval again.

Stephen continues to alternate between my nipples. Increasing the pressure each time he changes. Audible gasps are now occurring regularly and I can feel my orgasm building, how long to go. I might still make it to the fifteen minute mark. As if Sir could read my thoughts I hear him say that there’s two minutes left.

Deciding that he hasn’t tortured my nipples enough he moves up the lounge and latches onto my right nipple with his teeth. His hand has now resumed the focus on my clit, rubbing it incessantly. Oh god, I don’t think I’m going to last. I call on all my mental strength, trying to do as much arithmetic as I can think of. Focusing on scone recipes and quotes from my favorite movie take all my strength.

Realizing that time is running out, I sense that Stephen has one more trick up his sleeve. Looking directly into my eyes I feel his hand slowly move from my tits up towards my throat. God no, I won’t be able to resist this. As expected I feel his hand slowly tighten around my throat. Looking directly into my eyes with an intensity that would be scary in another setting. He then says out loud so everyone can hear, ‘well Rye, it’s time you gave up that orgasm. I’m now going to pull it out of you, one breath at a time.

His hand grips a little tighter, my breathing becoming even more labored, my clit is on fire as he continues to rub it between his thumb and forefinger. Pinching my clit, looking intensely into my eyes with a burning desire, and slowly choking me.

My body separates from my mind and I no longer have control of it. Stephen has literally taken over my entire being. Starting in my toes I can feel my impending orgasm, it builds as it moves up my legs, and down from my throat. My nipples sting from the earlier attention and my cunt just flushes with wetness. Stephen can see that he has won. To make a point of it he starts a slow count down from ten. As each number is said out aloud I can feel my resolve slip away and my impending explosion get one step closer. I don’t want him to win, but he’s taken that last bit of control from me; and that’s exactly what I needed.

As he gets to one he closes his hand further around my throat temporarily cutting off my air supply. My body convulses, well as much as it’s able to in its restrained state. The last thing I hear is ‘cum for me Rye’. And I do. A huge gushing squirting orgasm soaking myself and the lounge in my cum. I also try and scream my lungs out but with no air nothing comes out. Removing his hand from my throat I take big gulping breathes that serve to prolong the orgasm. Draining the last of my energy from me.

I then collapse, fully spent. Just before I drift off I feel my bonds being removed, my aftercare blanket being tucked in around me, and the faint but welcome sound of Sir’s voice ‘good girl, you did well. Rest up, you are going to need your strength later tonight.’

~

This is a follow-up to the collaborative post from last week called Prey On Me. The twitter boyfriend and I have already started on part three 🙂

Elust #90

Elust 90


Photo courtesy of Rebel’s Notes

Welcome to Elust 90

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #91?  Start with the rules, come back February 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Conflicted part 1

Glow

Happy Endings

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Please You to Please Me

How to suck my cock – part 1 (attitude)

 

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Visions of Sugarplums

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

 

Writing About Writing

The Curious Case of Trigger Warnings
Writing About It All

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

PLEASING THE MISTRESS
Reader Q&A: Dominant women struggle, turn-ons
Chastity Questions
Not every hole is a goal

Erotic Non-Fiction

A Picture is Worth…
Morning Stretch
Lovemaking Almost Too Brilliant To Describe
The GP
I Want
Indescribable Pleasure
Humiliating an ex-Nazi: Raylene’s 2nd dozen
Preparation
I love big, fat dicks

Erotic Fiction

Dude, You’re Wet!
When Love Becomes a Weakness
On a Silver Platter
The Silent Treatment
A Seasonal Affair
Three in a Stall
Schoolgirl Uniform
The New Principal 4: Escape

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Anal Retentive Or Just OCD?

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

BuzzFeed Femdom

Poetry

-06.01.17_13:22-
Mistletoe: A Lusty Limerick

 

Elust 88

Define Your Kink: Day 2

#2 – Describe who you might submit to and how.
Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just in the bedroom?

Even right now, I’ll admit, the idea of submitting to anyone other than my husband is still hard to imagine. When we started trying our various BDSM dynamics we started right in with a 24/7 M/s set-up. Looking back starting out so hard and fast wasn’t a great plan, but we were both so excited by this whole new world that we got a little (a lot!) ahead of ourselves.

I think we were so taken by the idea of what we could add to our relationship that we didn’t test things before just adding more and more. The entire system breakdown was inevitable. Going in full-throttle was a mistake that we are still paying for, sadly. And I’m not sure we will recover fully, though I am hopeful. I would love to get back to something in and outside the bedroom. I enjoyed our daily rituals and the chore expectations we established early on. With time and work we could get back to that.

With my husband or another Sir, there are several ways I would like to show much submission. Being a fuckpuppet is certainly at the top of the list. But being a service sub and a little are also avenues to serve that I would like to explore. I’ve started to realize, given the right support, that I really enjoy being a little. The idea of being tucked in and cared for is a real turn on. I’m not sure I’m one for baby talk or frilly pink dresses, but I a lot of other little aspects are very intriguing.

We shall see how the next few months come along. I am hoping that my husband will be interested in trying some BDSM things again. Obviously, we would go more slowly. Maybe trying a strictly bedroom scene or two rather than a full-time dynamic again. Kink is something that I have realized I need in my life, so I’m willing to be patient. A little is better than nothing at all.

~

This is part of my Define Your Kink questions. Check out my page for my answers so far and other bloggers taking part.

The Wonderful World of Ifs

if

If this, if that…

1. If you were forced to wear a warning label, what would yours say?

Once you wind her up; she won’t stop.
2. If you were a Sesame Street character, which one would you be?

Slimey the worm.
3. If you could have an endless supply of a candy or baked good, what would you get?

Mint Milanos if we are going non-homemade. Probably my dad’s cheesecake if we sticking to the homemade category.
4. Who is your favorite villain? Why? 

Alan Rickman’s Sheriff of Nottingham from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Anyone who would cut your heart out with a spoon is my evil hero.
5. Are you more in tune with sunrise, daytime, sunset or nighttime?

As a morning person I guess I would say sunrise. Really, any time I can have coffee. I used to be much better at mornings before I had kids. But I guess I would still say I’m better in the mornings than any other time. I’m a pretty cranky person generally is what I am trying to say.

Bonus: If you took a job out of your current career path, what job would you take?

Well, my paid career path is in government. My aspirational career path is writing. If both of those are off the table I would love to be someone’s assistant. Plan and organize their life. I would be great at that. And I think it would fill a submissive need.

Have you ever noticed how…

Taking a shower is just like masturbation:

Rye stepping into the shower.

  1. You always want to stay longer, but then your fingers get pruny. There is just never enough time and the pruny thing can be difficult to explain at work.
  2. There are all sorts of bottles of lotions and liquids to make it more fun. Cause you’re worth it!
  3. It’s fun with a friend. Or more 🙂
  4. It’s best with the lights on, feeling warm and comfortable (this may just be me). As an exhibitionist, I do love a good show.
  5. Touching yourself all over is optimal. And fun.
  6. A child walking in ruins the whole thing. Trust me, personal experience.
  7. Toys can be fun. Come on, you all have a rubber ducky, right?
  8. Hair can sometimes make the whole process take longer. And sometimes that’s a good thing.
  9. You can never spend as much time doing it as you want. I mean, sometimes my kids just won’t accept cereal for dinner.
  10. To feel refreshed, it’s best if done every day. A good mood and smelling clean are necessary for being the best you.

 

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Poking the Bear

Sometimes you make a mistake. Sometimes you purposefully screw up so he will pay attention. He knows the difference and punishes accordingly.

Rye being hit with the riding crop in the basement.

Talk about a place I never want to be again. And realistically, I won’t, as this is the basement in our old house. But, if I stop being a shit about it, I really don’t want to put him in this position again. Testing the waters of brating was not a good move and I learned that quickly. Every time I consider acting out I think of this. The location, his demeanor, that fucking crop on my tits. It pulls me back every time.

Check out everyone’s sexy offerings for Sinful Sunday this week!

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Prey on Me

Wow, that last flogging was was intense. I can still feel the heat radiating off my back even with the cool water cascading over me as I try and stay out of sight behind the waterfall. Josh certainly knows how to wield a flogger. Maybe I will have to suggest to Sir that he supervise a repeat session in more structured setting. The scraping of the bark from  the tree on my tits took away some of the enjoyment though. My legs were still shaking a bit as I tried to calm my breathing and press myself against the rocks. I couldn’t stay here long, but the water felt to good against my back and thighs to move just yet.

The bushland setting and exhilaration of the hunt was everything I had expected. Something I will have to process further when I had more time and the perfect way to check if we are ready to attend Tryst. Sir had talked about booking us in, but he wanted to be sure I was ready to enjoy it fully. He set up today’s hunt as a special part of our annual visit to Josh’s wilderness lodge. He had arranged for a few couples to come here for some lunch and an afternoon of fun. If Tryst was going to be anything like this I will book the tickets myself. I hope he felt the same.

Now if I can only remain out of sight and avoid being found again for the remaining 45 minutes of the hunt, this will have been a wonderful afternoon. With the rushing of the water around me I wondered if I would be able to hear the airhorn finishing the hunt. I was banking on the water hiding me from view.

It was so like Sir to spring a surprise guest on me for the afternoon’s activity. He certainly upped the ante for the chase and gave me good reason not to be found, even if the odds were stacked against me. I just hoped that Sir wanted a fair hunt and didn’t let everyone know my three allowed hiding spots. Of course Sir stipulated where I was allowed to hide so he could easily find me if he chose to. There was no way Sir was going to have to hunt for me. But with only three options and a good distance between them, I didn’t want to have to run for the log if I was spotted.

I’m not sure I want Stephen to find me as I’m not quite sure what he will do with  me, but I’m certain he will fully exert his dominance over me to prove a point. Our last encounter didn’t go quite as expected and I may have been less than generous when I blogged about the experience. He certainly looked very pleased when I walked out onto the deck this afternoon ahead of the hunt. I was taken somewhat aback when I saw him and may have balked in the door way. Though I did notice that both Sir and Stephen noticed my hesitation, which brought a knowing glance between them. I knew then that Sir had offered Stephen a chance at redemption. Sir also knew he had just raised the stakes for me for the afternoon ahead.

*crack

Shit, someone was close. Just remember to keep control of my breathing, remain quiet and keep still until they pass.

I wonder who has stumbled upon my hiding spot. I can just make out their shape as I peer out from my hiding spot. Behind the cascading waters of the creek that runs through the property I had been able to make out anything wander by, but I could clearly see a human sized object approaching through the trees.  I can’t see who it is.

Hopefully Sir has decided to come find me, that would be fun. I’m not holding out too much hope of that, as he can play with me anytime and there are a few other subs running around that he has wanted to play with. Just let it not be Stephen. Not sure why he’s had such an effect on me by being here, but if Sir wanted me to experience some fear, he’s certainly achieved that. Maybe a scene with Stephen is just what I need.

Hmmmm, maybe I should just reveal my hiding spot and take what ever is coming my way.

Too late, I’ve been spotted.

Oh thank heavens, its Michael. We’ve played before and we had a good time. Well let’s see what he has in store for me. He reaches forward and looks at the tag around my neck listing the things that I’ve written down as hard limits. As you would expect, there was little point in wearing it, it was blank.

Without pulling me from behind the waterfall he had me kneel. He then proceeded to free his cock so that I could take him in my mouth. He positioned himself so that he was just out from under the waterfall, which placed me directly under it. As I attempted to suck on his cock, the water kept hitting my face, splashing into my eyes and some of it entered my mouth as I went about my ministrations. The effect was quite distracting and it took a lot of focus to keep on sucking. At times it felt like I was going to drown.

As I continued sucking his cock, Michael thrust his cock further down my throat causing me to start to choke on a combination of cock and rushing water. The sensation was very different and I can only liken it to a form of breath play. Something that I’m not overly comfortable with.

I think Michael could sense my discomfort was turning into distress and he withdrew his cock and helped me to stand. After a few deep breathes, he led me over to a fallen tree  which was slightly elevated above the ground. The positioning of the log provided  a very good improvised spanking bench. He motioned for me to straddle the log and lie down with my head extending just past the end of the log. Picking up some nearby rope (not sure where that came from) he secured me firmly to the log.

I hadn’t previously noted but there was a thicket of bamboo nearby. He  walked over to the bamboo and out of my peripheral vision. I could only imagine what he was doing. These thoughts were confirmed when I then heard a ‘swish’ through the air. Great, a bamboo cane. This is going to get very ouchy. I didn’t have to wait long for that to be proven true. I heard the swish, immediately followed by a stinging sensation across my ass. Shit that hurt. I tried not to wiggled too much as the bark of the log was also quite painful against my tits and stomach. 

Next I heard Michael say “Now Rye, like the good girl I know you are, I would like for you to count the strokes out loud.”

One, I said out loud. And so the caning continued.

The next nine strokes were all across my arse. Each stroke elicited a small gasp from me as I absorbed and processed the pain. There was a slight pause and Michael repositioned himself at my head. I turned my head slightly to be greeted by his erect cock pushing into my cheek. Taking him into my mouth I continued worshiping his cock. Well, at least to the extent I was able to whilst being bound to the log and beaten by a bamboo cane.

After a further ten strokes, each accompanied by a mumbled count and continued cock sucking, Michael placed the cane in the crevice of my arse. Then he placed his hands on either side of my head. Taking a firm hold he tilted my head up slightly and then began to fuck my mouth in earnest. He started thrusting in more deeply until I was deep throating his cock on each forward thrust. Just has he was building to a climax the siren indicating the end of the hunt went off. With two more fairly violent thrusts, Michael held my head down tightly onto his cock as he pumped a load of cum deep down my throat. Having fully emptied his balls he withdrew his cock leaving a long line of spittle joining my mouth to his cock.

He gave me a minute to catch my breath and recompose myself before he released my bonds. Feeling a little stiff I did a quick stretch and brushed the loose bark from my chest. I also took a quick dive into the water hole to refresh myself and to wash off the moss, spittle and cum that I had managed to get on myself.

We then set off arm in arm heading back to the camp site, making small talk as we went.

As Michael and I approached the camp site, it was clear that neither Sir nor Stephen were pleased to see that I had avoided capture. A displeasure that I would certainly pay for later.

And I did.

*This piece was co-written by myself and the Twitter boyfriend. I’m trying to get him to collaborate with me some more.*

Prompt #21: Write a letter your 10-year old self

Prompt #21: Write a letter to the 10-year old child you had been

Dear 10-year old Rye,

Stay strong. Not matter what. The next few years are going to test you. Just remember that you are beautiful and strong. I don’t want to give too much away, but your teenage years are not going to be easy for you. As difficult as it will be, your life will not end with high school. There is so much more for you to experience. Enjoy and appreciate those opportunities, even though they may seem like trials at the time. Don’t depend on others, trust yourself to know what you need.

Which leads me to a topic that you haven’t considered. Sex. I know you are only ten and have a world of growing to do. My advice is just to let yourself grow. Don’t compare yourself to others and try and race the curve. Try to be open to experiencing things that we weren’t necessarily raised to consider normal. Pleasure is found in different ways for different people. Don’t judge.

You are a good writer. Don’t stop writing down all those ideas and random story lines. All those ideas for novels deserve to be written. Don’t give up on that dream.

For every tough thing that you face, trust the people around you. Your parents and family love you. You turn out alright, trust me.

Love,

Your future self

P.S. You are going to get your first period, like, tomorrow. It’s going to suck, just FYI. Sorry, nothing I can do about that.

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This is in partial fulfillment of #4 of my 101 Things in 1001 Days task, which is to use 10 writing prompts. This one isn’t very sexy, but with my grandmother’s funeral yesterday I have been thinking a lot about childhood and family.

Nothing Good Can Come From This

“When you were having sex with her, were you thinking about me?”*

This question always confused and angered me. Long before we opened our marriage or I even considered being poly. First, wouldn’t it be terribly sad if that was the case. Presumably they would thinking about you out of malice and not any sort of positive feelings. Who has sex with someone and thinks, “Man, I really miss my girlfriend, this sub-par pussy will have to do”? And, because I think about things like this, how sad is that for that other woman (the sub-par pussy one)?

If both people sign up for a consensual, non-connection fuck, that’s one thing. But I personally know it would crush my ego to find out a guy had been thinking about someone else the whole time. Masturbating is one thing, or even fucking during porn and picturing me as someone else. Since I am someone who looks for an emotional connection with anyone I fuck, an old girlfriend would be a low blow.

Which leads me to my other issue with this direct statement. I’m not going to generalize as I certainly don’t know the manipulative capacities of all men. But, in my experience, guys are not thinking about the consequences of fucking while they are fucking. I don’t either, if I’m honest. Now, I’ve never played ‘pull-out pregnancy roulette’ as my family is as fertile as they come. So that may be something else all together.

Also, as far as I know, I’ve never been with a guy who was cheating. In my experience the guys who have fucked me weren’t thinking about how an ex or current girlfriend would feel about the situation. I’m not saying that to be egotistical, I honestly believe it to be true. Some other girls face in place of mine? Maybe. But I still would hope it wouldn’t be a past lover.

There is one more issue that this trope brings to mind for me. An admission, if I’m honest, about my own thought during sex: I don’t much. I wish I could say that whenever I have sex with someone I am 100% focused on them. Hell, I can’t even say I create a rich fantasy in my head of myself and Ryan Reynolds flying off into the sunset on his private jet. Nope, the best I can usually do is several moans and some ass grabbing (if my hands are free).

It’s not a personal thing, and certainly not a reflection if my relationship with said other partner. It’s that what I am physically feeling completely takes over my brain. During breaks I really try to make eye contact and focus on my partner. As we shift positions or move from one sex act to another I try to check in. This is generally because once said activity starts, my mind goes completely blank.

Trust me, I know how pathetic that sounds and I wish I could do better. Part of me thinks that is why I like blow jobs to much; I can completely focus on my partner. During sex I register what I am feeling physically and whether or not it feels good. How I feel about it emotionally usually doesn’t hit me until later. Which is probably why I look for guys that I have an emotional connection with. I need to trust them enough to know that they will be around for the aftercare portion of the evening (even for non-BDSM sex). During sex I let go and float along with all the pleasant feelings and moments of no responsibility. Having someone hold me as cold, hard reality slaps me in the face once again is nice.

This double-edged sword of a question also has a changing significance for me now that I’m poly. I guess I generally want my husband and Jack, or any other future partner, to know that when I am with them I am focused on them. And, I expect the same from them. I like the idea of Jack missing me and thinking about me, but not when he’s with another woman. If, for no other reason than I don’t want him thinking about them when he’s with me.

Poly, at least for me, doesn’t mean that I’m thinking about other people all the time. Whether you are emotionally invested or not I think you should be able to respect your partner enough to focus on them during sex. And, even if you don’t, consider your answer to the above question carefully, though any answer is likely to be wrong.

I should also add, if you ever find the urge to ask someone this question (or a variant of it), don’t. Even in the heat of a fight. No answer will make you feel good or win the argument. The very asking of means you’ve already lost.

*I should clarify that I’ve only really ever heard this used on television. A few sitcoms and daytime soap operas (when I watched them) would bring it out from time to time in order to add even more drama to a fight. I’ve never met anyone who has actually use it in an argument. But then, I also don’t have a lot of close friends that I talk about my sex life with. Except all of you, of course.

Leverage

I can’t imagine all the work that Molly has put into the last 300 weeks, but having the opportunity to see everyone’s sexy pictures is amazing. So thankful to have a place to share and get feedback on my personal porn collection. Here’s to 300 more weeks!

Honestly, I just like the color differences in this shot. The yellow blanket, the blue wall, the sunlight. I’m sure I was trying to get leverage against the wall, and I love that too. Jack leaning in from just out of shot just pushes me over the edge, literally.

Rye trying to get leverage against the blue wall.

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