Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Spring cleaning…six months late

**This blog was originally created in 2010 to document my husband and my life as we tried to get pregnant with our first child. After finding BDSM I repurposed the blog in 2014 to look at our kink and balancing it with the two children we now have. Please feel free to read the below posts and any from my 2010 and 2011 archive, but please be aware that they are not representative of our life now. Also, certain edits have been made to these posts. To start from the beginning of our kinky life, start here. **

This was a hard core cleaning weekend. I will say I get a sense of accomplishment when I scrub the bathroom from top to bottom. The kitchen stayed clean for about five minutes. But good food was made in it, so I can’t complain too much. Steelers won and I got paid on Friday. All in all a pretty good weekend. Now, I won’t see most of that money, but it’s ok.

I did get a lot sorted on my quilt. I bought the king size batting as it was on sale and the queen size was out of stock. I have apparently never seen a queen mattress and a king close together. I didn’t think they were that different. The king size batting is like 10′ x 10′. On our queen it touches the floor on three sides and would be up over our faces. It’s just too big. So I decided to cut the king to fit the size we wanted. So I trimmed it back to 8′ x 7′. I am hoping that will make it more manageable. At least I think I will have enough strips for the front now. I cut the corduroy for the back and I have a lot left over. So I think I will use it with the leftover batting to make something nice. I was actually thinking about a baby blanket. I could trim it in the blue corduroy like ours and then quilt it with a fun design as it will all be one fabric. We’ll see. But work continues.

Back to work tomorrow. After the threat of layoffs a few weeks ago, the place has been anything but quiet.  So it will be interesting to see if we can get some new contracts so we do not have to lose so many workers. I’m still hoping to have a job when it is over, but I am updating my resume just to be on the safe side. The last thing we need to for me to finally get pregnant and then find out I’ve lost my job and our insurance. That last sentence sure doesn’t make it easy to sleep at night. But my boss is staying positive, so I will trust him.

Entering week 7 of law school. D is doing much better this week. A little stressed about a research project, but really on top of his other work. Hopefully we can keep the momentum going throughout the rest of the semester. Although, I can start testing late next weekend and I am afraid that will start the stress cycle again. We see my parents in a few weeks and I would like to know before we see them. I know it sounds strange, but it will be easier not to tell them if I know. If we’re still unsure, then it will show all over my face. But if I have a definite answer I will be better. I’m trying not to get too excited this time. Last month was just such a let down. I have not been on any of my baby sites or anything. I’m not trying to find symptoms that aren’t there. But at the same time, this will be month three. Most couples get a positive within their first three months. And if this is negative, then the worry turns to, “is something wrong with us?”. I would really like to avoid that roller coaster of emotion. Wish us luck.

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