There is an hour, between 9 and 10 in the morning, where both my children push every possible button I have. I think there is some chemical trigger that sets them off. They know my coffee hasn’t kicked in yet and Sir has left for work, so they attack with everything they’ve got. By the time 10 rolls around I am near tears and spend the rest of the day trying to recoup my sanity. This rarely works.
Coupled with lack of sleep and this hour is the constant downfall of day. Being a stay at home mother is harder than anything else I have ever done. I know it was for the best, with Sir’s job forcing the move, it didn’t make sense to commute and pay for daycare. But the last six months have been full of change and craziness.
As a continuing theme of life change in 2014, Sir and I have decided to ramp up the BDSM now that I am healed from childbirth. This, of course, is purely up to his whims. And I know that it makes me a terrible submissive, but I feel like he is really dropping the ball. I can feel myself turning into a brat in the effort to get attention. Being home with a three year old and a 3-month old doesn’t leave much time for me. The idea of getting to serve and have some sort of personal release is getting too difficult to ignore.
We’ll see how much longer I can attempt to keep everyone in the house happy. As long as I continue to ignore my own need to sleep and personal happiness, then I have a shot. The dog seems to think I’m doing a good job.