Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Please Don’t Take Away My Submissive Membership Card

For those wondering, they don’t actually give out a membership card. At least, if they do, I wasn’t given one.

My title is due to my revelation and my concern that it alters my submissive label. I like being spoiled. As a submissive, I feel like all I should want to do is serve. But that is all I do. Serving Sir is one thing. But I feel like all I do now that I am home is serve my kids. I don’t have personal time, I don’t get to spoil myself. So every once and awhile I would love for Sir to spoil me.

And as soon as that craving comes along I have two immediate guilt reactions. (1) is that how can I possibly call myself a submissive when I want focus on me? And (2) how dare I insinuate that Sir isn’t taking care of me. I have this endless complex about not being a good sub. And any feeling that I somehow find unsub-like, triggers an instant worry.

But I cannot help myself from occasionally feeling ignored. Sir helps around the house when he can, and it makes a huge difference. I feel awful wanting more.

I can feel the judgement from FetLife seeping across the internet.


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