For those wondering, they don’t actually give out a membership card. At least, if they do, I wasn’t given one.
My title is due to my revelation and my concern that it alters my submissive label. I like being spoiled. As a submissive, I feel like all I should want to do is serve. But that is all I do. Serving Sir is one thing. But I feel like all I do now that I am home is serve my kids. I don’t have personal time, I don’t get to spoil myself. So every once and awhile I would love for Sir to spoil me.
And as soon as that craving comes along I have two immediate guilt reactions. (1) is that how can I possibly call myself a submissive when I want focus on me? And (2) how dare I insinuate that Sir isn’t taking care of me. I have this endless complex about not being a good sub. And any feeling that I somehow find unsub-like, triggers an instant worry.
But I cannot help myself from occasionally feeling ignored. Sir helps around the house when he can, and it makes a huge difference. I feel awful wanting more.
I can feel the judgement from FetLife seeping across the internet.