Sir and I are not ashamed of our BDSM lifestyle choice. However, that does not mean that we advertise it, especially at family gatherings. I find this harder than Sir. When aunt so-and-so asks what I am up to, I cannot talk about this blog, this great new tumblr I found, or my new butt plug. Sir can always talk about work, but I have little to deflect to.
So I focus on the kids and their new funny sayings. My iPad comes out to show off the baby’s smiles and the toddler’s new dance moves; after I make sure that all the dirty pictures are deleted. I spend my time avoiding questions. I always have a respectable book going and I keep my dirty reads on the kindle. My day collar looks like a fancy chain, and no one seems to question the fact that it doesn’t come off. Sir and I have code words and polite pet names for each other so he can order me around without raising alarm. I don’t think him screaming ‘cunt’ across the living room when he wants a drink refill would go over well with grandma. It becomes like a game, which at least makes it a little fun since we never have private time with the family around. But I try to focus on the children to keep busy.
So, I look like some deranged helicopter parent, which, I guess is better than a sexual deviant. And I certainly wouldn’t want to answer the barrage of questions that would accompany that kind of revelation. At least, most of me doesn’t. There is a tiny sliver that would love to see the faces of my extended family hearing about our amazing bondage sex. Though, the emergency room is more than ten miles from the house, so maybe inciting heart attacks is not the best plan.
Cute pictures and kids crafts it is then.