Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Doctor Visit

Today is a whirlwind of doctor’s visits. My mother-in-law is generously watching the kids so I scheduled two appointments. This way Sir does not have to take the day off and I do not have to drag the children out.

What is it about doctors? I have given birth to two children, I have no shame. My bits have been on display for just about everyone. And, considering the topics that I discuss on here, open for your judgement and perusal, that I would feel comfortable with just about anything.
You would think that wouldn’t you? But I don’t. I clam up as soon as I get into that little pastel colored room. I will often take a list of issues that I want to mention. I say a list because I never go to the doctor until I have around ten things actually wrong. I can suck it up until then, right? Sir hates that, but I get so uncomfortable that I freak myself out until things get really bad. Ever since I had to have my gallbladder removed in 2012, he knows that I will just ignore the pain. It was so much easier when he didn’t know that, now he worries about every wince. Unless he caused it, of course.
So today I have my list and my guard up as I do not want to answer questions and get poked my cold hands that I don’t know. If it isn’t obvious, medical scenes are not my thing. I guess part of me is worried what he might say, so if I don’t ask, the news cannot be bad. Is that a normal thing? I find my mother doing the same thing; is that just my ‘buck up and deal’ upbringing? Either way, we will see if I can get some answers. Sir will want to know everything that happens, so I may have to deal with those repercussions. If I get any bad news then the wrath will come down on me when Sir finds out. He hates that I hide pain, but there is just too much to do sometimes. If I went to the doctor and freaked out every time I was in pain, then I would live there. Am I the only person who feels like that?
Anyway, we will see what happens. The boy is going to grandma’s house tonight for some spoil time. Sir, Baby 2.0, and I are heading over tomorrow. Hopefully the baby will go to bed early and we can have an in-the-house date night. Pizza, a movie, hot monkey sex; isn’t that the dream? That will at least get me through all the awkwardness today.


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