Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Shame

I have written on here before that I have no shame. After giving birth to two boys with difficult labors nothing seems private anymore. So imagine my surprise when Sir texted me from work to say that the pictures with my face in them needed cropped or taken down completely.

I understand that he has a career, I would like to have one again soon too. But do my photos on here really hurt that? You guys don’t have my social security number or our home address. If someone really wanted to work that hard to discredit him that they troll the internet to find my blog and some proof as to who I was; I say good on you for wasting that much of your life. That takes commitment.
Obviously, I took the pictures down immediately and cropped my face out of them to repost. But I feel the need to state that I am not ashamed of myself in those photographs. This is one of the first times in my life that I am truly happy. I write and occasionally put up photos on here to share an experience. Other submissives as well as those outside the lifestyle have been exceedingly supportive of our journey. I know that by posting my life, my sex life especially, onto the web, I will eventually get criticism and/or ridicule. But 1) Isn’t that the price of sharing your art/talent/dreams and 2) the endless support and generousity of most readers far outweighs the odd negative comment.
Yes, I have no shame and am also a bit of an exhibitionist, but I am certainly not ashamed of what Sir and I have found together. I am not screaming it from the rooftops because it is not everyone’s business, but I am not going to lie about it either. And as long as I continue to have the wonderful support and advice of you, the reader, I shall continue sharing. Never disrespecting, always following his guidelines, but expressing my love for the service I offer and that he takes.
And if I get a red ass for this I will ask to post a photo of that too.

One Response to “Shame”

  • Jon MontanaVega

    Collared: Everything anyone does has risks and rewards. A great example is driving a car, a highly dangerous activity with great rewards. Being submissive, being an exhibitionist, revealing yourself through writing and photos all have rewards and risks.

    A problem with risk/reward occurs when we do not accurately assess the the amount of the risk or the reward. People’s guesses are often widely wrong. (The risk of flying is less than the risk of lightening striking you.)

    Another problem happens when the risks (or the rewards) are spread to others who don’t have the power to make the choice(s). Think of the kid buckled into the car seat by the drunk Mom or Dad who decides to drive home rather than spend money on a cab.

    Given that you are submissive, it follows that the calculation of risk and reward is largely his. On the other hand, I deeply believe that D/S is a power EXCHANGE. Yes, you provide him service, but he provides both direction AND an opportunity to fulfill your needs. If one of those needs is to write, to express yourself, it would be very sad if he didn’t facilitate that. Put another way, has he accurately assessed the benefits to you of writing and illustrating the blog?

    He provides you “service” too (at least this is what I believe about D/S); the service is simply defined differently than that provided by a sub. D/S is supposed to be win/win, not win/lose.

    Jon

    PS The above is generic to any D/S relationship. On a personal level, I hope he participates fully in child rearing when home, including taking midnight feedings and diapering. If he doesn’t know what you do by doing it then, in my opinion, he will never be an adequate D. Others will probably disagree; I believe this very strongly.

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