Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Talking Heads

I used to think that Sir and I communicated really well. In college we would stay awake, naked in bed (as you do), and talk about everything. And now, years later, we still feel comfortable talking about anything and everything. However, that doesn’t mean we do.

Let’s just say that Sir wasn’t thrilled with my post last night. I write this blog for me, so he cannot use anything I write against me.  It, we’ll say, he was concerned about my thought direction. But it is hard for me to convey some of these problems in a verbal context, so I fear that you bear the brunt of my emotional processing.
In any case, we hashed out quite a bit after the kids passed out. He Is still trying to sort out what kind of Dom he wants to be. I am not struggling with knowing my submissive limits and traits, so it is like I am running backwards in front of him, just taunting him to move it along. Not a great feeling for a Dom. But in tandem with this, are the realities of our family situation. I think both of us have read the blogs of 24/7 submission or slavery and got a little starry-eyed. But, not only are we not there yet as a couple, but until other pieces fall into place, we would be overwhelmed every ten minutes. I am going to go out on a limb and say that a stressed, sleep-deprived Master would not end well for me.
So, a sub I shall stay. As his comfort grows, we may alter the plan, but we can see where life takes us. I will still have rules to follow and training starts this week (Eek!). But right now bedroom play is more than enough to keep us occupied. Of course, when I say that, I don’t mean just in the bedroom. After last night we can’t keep our hands off one another. I have been pressed against the kitchen door so many times this morning I think my face has an imprint. Sucking him off while he cooks french toast for breakfast could lead to an early trip to the hospital that would be difficult to explain though.
This entire experience has just been a real wake-up call as to how important talking is. Especially as we figure out how this fits into the rest of our lives. I am jealous of those who started their relationship like this. Without kids and scary financial responsibility. But here we are. Making it work with bondage, hot sex, and beatings to boot. And if I keep getting molested in the kitchen l may start cooking more. It may not be sanitary for others.

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