As we approach 2015 Sir has decided that there is no going back. We have been playing around with BDSM for over a year. Our personal and combined research and exploration on the subject has led us to the same conclusion: We want this so bad.
So, now, the hard work begins. The toys and Sir and fun bondage are great, but there is a lot more to a successful Dom/sub relationship. Sir has decided that 2015 will begin our official training, both of us. We know a lot about various aspects of the lifestyle, but we both admit that we have just jumped in with both feet. And I’m okay with that. We are both really enthusiastic and motivated to make things work. But if we are going to get as much as we can out of this, we want to do it right.
Now right becomes a completely different word. There are so many different definitions of the ‘right’ way to do things. We like the feedback that we have gotten from established couples and friends on Fetlife who say that you just have to make it what you want. I, personally, love that approach. We are a pretty quirky couple to begin with, so we usually make it work with whatever we have. We never keep a recipe the same either, it adapts, ingredients change, but it’s always good.
As much as I find that we are good at going with the flow, I feel like we need to at least attempt the traditional BDSM style and then adapt it. If we just start by doing our own thing and ignore the years of experience of others then I think we might really miss out on something amazing. So, we are reading the books and blogs; trying to absorb whatever we can.
Admittedly, this feels like a lot more work for Sir. He seems willing and excited to take on the challenge, so I am certainly not complaining. I think that we could both learn a lot and take a lot away from the traditional training experience that we can then mold into what we want from this.
It’s a little early to start on New Year’s resolutions, but this is one I actually want to keep. The first few weeks of 2015 will test me to see if I can be the submissive that he wants. I really hope I have the strength to see this through. I think that we both want this to work and we are ready to give it our all. I just hope our all is enough.