Take the label you want for yourself and make it true. A label bestowed upon you by others has no intrinsic value unless you already own it.
This is a tweet from one of the guys I follow on twitter. Anyway, I read it and it really hit me. I haven’t been having the best few weeks (amazing orgasms aside). But it cut through all the life crap and made me think about what I want to be. I know that my bloggisphere name is CollaredMom and both of those labels are true. But what else am I? Collared attaches me to Sir and Mom attaches me to my kids. I guess technically those labels were bestowed on me by others. However, I allowed myself to be collared, and impregnated, so I guess labelling is up for grabs. But I think one of my struggles the last few months is that I don’t want that to be it. I own the name CollaredMom, and I love it for all that it means for me. But is it my goal label?
I want to be successful. I want to be published. I wanted to be a respected professional. And DomSigns is right. If these are the labels that I want people to call me, I have to first make them true for myself. If I don’t see myself as successful then certainly no one else will. We, for better or worse, don’t live in a world of handing out dreams. Hell, magic has morality nowadays. Don’t you remember ‘I Dream of Genie’ and ‘Bewitched’? Now Harry Potter has real world problems; no blinking his facial scars or repulsive extended family away.
I am taking this weekend to take a step back and fit these goal labels into my life. Sir has been really supportive, but he has a lot on his plate right now, and I need to work this out for myself. Any plans or schedules will need to be approved by him, but I think he is happy that I will be getting all the planning work out of the way without him. And there is a certain satisfaction in completing something and showing Sir all my hard work. Even if he makes me redo something, he is always appreciative of me not dumping a problem on him and expecting him to fix it.
So, wish me luck in impressing him with my new ‘make my personal adjectives a reality’ plan. Now I just have to come up with it. Maybe you should wish me luck on that bit first. Obviously, step one is a late afternoon pot of coffee.