So I have this friend…yes, a real friend.
She is the only person in my vanilla life that knows about Sir and I. So when she called me the other day and started with, “Please don’t judge me,” I knew she was serious. She has been struggling with what started as a harmless flirtation with a work colleague. But now, the guy reciprocates those feelings and has upped his audacity in his comments and actions. She doesn’t want to do anything to hurt her marriage, but she keeps having these feelings. We talked for awhile about how she feels like she is having a mid-life crisis.
And I thought about that. I mean, she’s hardly thirty, she better live past 60. And yet, I completely understand what she meant. I feel the same way sometimes. Right now I am at my sexual peak. This last year or so has completely changed me. I found BDSM and my need for submission. She is struggling with her own findings. Namely, her regret in not being more promiscuous when she was younger. We can both count our sexual partners on one hand, and sometimes that bothers both us. Feeling like we missed our chance to experience something. Especially now, when we actually have the confidence and sexual desire to do so. Now I love Sir more than anything. And I won’t be adding to my partners list except for those that Sir brings into the relationship. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not excited by it.
It is odd to me how different people deal with the same emotions. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t found my submission. If Sir hadn’t been so understanding about my needs. Would I have turned to a flirty past time too? I hurt for her. I know what it feels like to be unsatisfied with life but not know why.
I tried to be as supportive as I could. She has been the most understanding friend for someone who knows nothing of the lifestyle. I just wish I knew what to say to her to make her feel better. To even have advice on what to do. I could never encourage her to have an affair, but I also know that talking to her husband and being open with him may not yield good results either. It’s a hard thing to watch someone hurt. Men go out and buy penis-shaped cars or get something pierced. I’m not sure her kids and the dog could fit in a penis-shaped car. That doesn’t mean that I won’t suggest it though.
I’m curious if others have dealt with anything similar. I have days that I feel like all my sexual energy is being wasted. I have put myself into the situation with Sir to be shot down often, and that’s not a great feeling. But my service and my knowing that he will take care of me gets me through. I don’t know how to impart that on someone who doesn’t have that assurance. I don’t want to use a word like trust, because she does trust him. I don’t want to make his about him being some sort of bad guy.
Somedays a hug (in this case over the phone) is the best you can do.