Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Pillow Talk

Wednesday’s may be taking the lead for my favorite day of the week. My ‘maintenance orgasm’ turned into five orgasms and some amazing play. Masturbation while he is watching is so much easier. And his hands slipping in every once and awhile are definitely nice too.

But I had this weird realization. I needed nipple play to cum. Either he or I need to be pinching or pulling or sucking for me to get there. And this realization shot me back to a conversation Sir and I had a week or so ago.

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We were laying in the bed. We had just finished some amazing sex. He slapped me a bunch and made me cry and we climaxed together in a blaze of moaning glory. Sir and I have always been really good at orgasming together during sex, apparently other couples do not do this as standard. But we’ve gotten pretty used it.

So Sir is laying there, after I cleaned him off (a new rule to suck him clean after everything but anal sex). And he looked at me and says, “I am worried that a day will come that I will need to make you hurt for me to cum”. I was silent for about ten minutes, not knowing what to say. I think he thought he freaked me out, but he didn’t. I’ve often thought the same thing. Wondering if there will be a day when I can’t orgasm without my nipples being pinched until I whimper. I haven’t been hiding the fear from him (against the rules), but I guess I’ve been avoiding thinking about the possible reality.

I didn’t want him to think I was mad or worried. “Would that be a bad thing? To one day need my full submission in order to get release? Would it concern you if I said I was quickly getting to the point that needed your dominance in order to cum?” I didn’t want to scare him either, but honesty is a rule.

He just looked at me and smiled. Like we both came to the conclusion at the same time that we have passed the point of no return.

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And last night I guess I passed the point of needing kink. I’m not ashamed of it. I love kinky me. But there is an element of fear. I don’t really think Sir will change his mind someday, it’s not that. But just a general fear of what could happen in the future. It’s more a fear of me not living up to my own kinky expectations. Worried I will burn out or something. Not really, I can’t get enough. Sometimes I just say things to make myself smile.

2 Responses to “Pillow Talk”

  • sub hub in phx

    Great post Collared Mom. I think you’ll be alright as long the kinky expectations that you are referring to are reasonable and don’t take on some life of their own that you can’t manage.

    Burn out is as burn out does. You’ll be fine!

  • Florida Dom

    No problem that you need kink. This is the lifestyle you love and crave. Since he is giving it to you. it will get better and better. Maybe nipple clamps or nipple suckers would be a good idea or spanking your boobs and nipples. Enjoy.

    FD

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