Submissive Sanctuary wrote a great piece today about dominant responsibilities. I started writing a comment and it was so long I felt too weird leaving it.
The gist of my response was that I think she raises some great points. But it’s difficult to balance everything with expectations.
Sir has a lot on his plate right now, we all do. And he always meets the responsibilities that I see him having. Similar to Alpha’s:
Not to harm me
To care for me and the kids
But expectations are tricky things. Sir is great with the kids. And he always feels terrible when he can’t put me first. Which leads me to feel horrible when I want to be put first. Is that weird as a submissive?
But I think our conclusions end up being the same. It’s about keeping your word. He’s never lied to me. As crazy as things have been, we’ve always had a ‘no promises’ policy. My expectations are my own. I have a high sex drive and have gotten really needy over the past few months. But he’s done everything he can to be there for me.
No promises means that we do what we can. He’s never broken a promise and had to apologize. I think that he likes that we had that in place before we started TTWD. He doesn’t have to say he’s sorry when he can’t do everything that I want. He gives what he can and I am more than happy to get it. I appreciate him so much more because my submission is always appreciated and his dominance is sincere. Even if he can’t be ‘on’ all the time due to other responsibilities.
Responsibilities and expectations do not always meet, but Sir takes both very seriously.
Thanks to Lil and her wonderful, thoughtful post.