That last post was uncalled for. I’m just having a rough week. That’s not an excuse.
Sir has every right to say ‘no, thanks’ to my offers. He shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting a night’s sleep. Especially when sleep can be fleeting with an infant (and Baby 2.0 is teething).
I want to use this blog to process how I’m feeling, but that doesn’t mean I want to make Sir look bad. He does a lot and is dealing with just as much as me right now, if not more. It’s not fair to act all insecure and abandon because he turns down an offer for oral one night.
I’m not going to take the last post down. I need to leave it as a reminder that I still have a lot of learning to do. Because I want to be the best submissive for him. I was just…mad, frustrated, hurt. I don’t know. I do that a lot. I lash out, before I can process what I am feeling. Believe it or not, I’m getting better at it. But D/s is forcing me to have a lot more really strong emotional responses, good and bad. I obviously haven’t caught up with the learning curve yet.