Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.


Introspection is a tricky thing. I honestly don’t recommend it. It rarely leads to an ‘I’m doing great’ situation. More often than not you walk away feel crappy about yourself and needing a pound of chocolate to recover. Which, as Sir and I are looking to start a low-fat lifestyle, isn’t going to be stocked in the kitchen anymore.

This morning Sir sent me a .gif of a woman licking what I can only assume is cum off the floor. Then he wrote ‘missing you’. The first thing my brain shot out after watching it was, ‘that’s gross’. Not, that looks hot. Not, I can’t wait to do that. Just, that looks gross. The second thought wasn’t kinky either. That’s gross was quickly followed by, ‘that woman’s hair looks really greasy, like she hasn’t showered in days, or she has also recently had cum in her hair’. It wasn’t until I saw the ‘missing you’ that I realized that I was supposed to be turned on by this clip. That I was supposed to be picturing myself in this woman’s place. That he wanted this from me.

Why didn’t my brain go there first? Why didn’t my submissive head kick in? Even if it had, I’m still not positive that it would have bumped in front my ‘that’s gross’ response. But in the moment, when he’s pointing to floor, I’d be there. My mind would shut up and I’d be her. At least, I want to think I would. See, introspection is nothing but trouble.

My website transition is stressing me out. Links are getting sorted, but now I just have all these anxieties about this being the right time. You’d think I was starting a multi-million dollar company or something. Hopefully this weekend I will get everything sorted. Oh yeah, and I started working this week. Because, why not? I’m over being sick, so why not take on everything I possibly can all at once. I’m a genius like that. I even got distracted giving Sir a blow job last night. That never happens. I could tell he was getting frustrated as he practically pulled my nipples right off with the nipple clamps to get me to focus.

More coffee and back to work. No more introspection today. I think I will go scrub the floor though, just incase he was serious about licking it later.


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