Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Master’s first set of March Questions

These were emailed to me by Sir. I told him that I would be completely honest, as I always am on this blog, and if he asked the questions he better be prepared for the answers. So, if he beats me for this, I will post pictures of him as a child, naked in the tub. Trust me, I have them.
I have said that you are a “natural fucktoy, but that I will train you to be a paintoy as well.” Do you think that’s full-of-shit?
Maybe not full of shit, but a difficult task, to be sure. I certainly would not have imagined this type of relationship for us when we got married, so I would never say never. But making my brain look at pain in any type of positive light does seem a long way off. I am hoping I will one day be able to take the pain because that is what you want. Personal enjoyment beyond that may be out of reach. But I am certainly a fucktoy.sore throat and a runny nose and I am still going to beg him to use me tonight.
What does BDSM taste like?
Salty.
How do you think you process pain?
Poorly. I consider myself to have a high pain tolerance, but that isn’t necessarily a good thing. Small pains (muscle aches, sore throat, uncomfortable seating position) are ignored until they become big problems. And big pains (gallstones, childbirth, torn ligaments in ankle) that are over my threshold push me into hyperventilating and vomiting. I know, it is gross.
And not having a good middle ground can be a real problem. It is a fear. An impact scene is going along with a stream of strikes that fall into a small manageable pain category. Then, one hit, slap, cut triggers my threshold response and I shut down. Like loosing control of a sports car (we watch a lot of Top Gear), when you eventually hit the limit, it is a massive fireball.
What D/S activity gives you the most stomach-butterflies?
Not sure if you mean positive or nervous butterflies. So, we will address both. D/s is pretty big though.
Positive butterflies would be the fucktoy bits. Oral sex and the humiliation play along with that has been really hot. The nipple clamps chained together, being pulled during oral is quite hot. I get all gooey whenever I am told to kneel now just thinking about it.
Negative butterflies are the impact scenes when I know you want to see me cry (I guess that is probably all of them). The stubborn fool from the last answer wants to minimize the pain and hold out as long as I can. But the nonpaintoy in me wants to start crying right away, even if it doesn’t hurt all that much in the hopes that you stop sooner. I get into my own head a bit too much, and not in a good way.

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