My post from yesterday is stuck in my head. Not that that is a bad thing. For any who missed it, please read this so you will understand my upcoming rage.
Tori over at Pain’s Pleasure wrote a great piece this week about consent and the laws in the UK. I was thinking and incensed, just like I’m sure she wanted me to be. And, until I saw the above story yesterday, I had continued to ponder the injustice in the world.
But Jade’s situation is different. It’s not the injustice of laws or definitions of what consent really means. It’s the cruelty of people. People who refuse to understand or care about what a person really wants or feels. The idea of completely ignoring a person’s wishes for your own vindictive reasons is heartbreaking. If only these people would focus their time on cancer research or world peace or something.
I was too emotional and focused to talk about anything else last night, much less play. Sir was great, as always, and let me talk. Nodding and agreeing with my loud and random conclusions. His logical mind kicked in a few times and made some really good points.
We both fully respect the idea of non-monogamy. Marriage and one person and all that isn’t for everyone. And I want to clarify that I do NOT blame Jade or her partners in any way for what they are going through. But these tragic events will, hopefully, remind others of the importance of protecting yourself. Having the basics like a living will or a power of attorney is vital. I’m not going to suggest that every family would act in the same vicious manner as this poor man’s, but if you have people you care about, make sure they know what you want and have the power to make that happen.
This is the closest community I have even been a part of. My college was small and I felt at home there, but nothing like the support of what the BDSM and blogging network provide. The understanding and acceptance of people and activities is amazing, even if we don’t understand or enjoy them ourselves. It’s hard to remember sometimes that the ‘real world’ is not all on that same page.
Safe, sane, consensual. Those are the tenants of a solid BDSM relationship. Make sure that is everything in your life. Make sure that the people who love you have the power to take care of you, especially when you can’t take care of yourself.