Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

The Future: Part Two

Well, things are progressing. Sir didn’t laugh in my face when we had the TPE conversation. He actually responded very well, but we have a ways to go. The sex stuff comes easily. We are good at that. But adding in more control elements into non-bedroom stuff will be a trial and error process. He is taking it really seriously though, which I appreciate.

He already has ideas for certain issues and we talked limits. I think we both want the limits to go, that being the ideal in this arrangement. But, he is smarter than me enough to realize that even without hard limits, there are things he could do that would unknowingly push me over the edge. The example we talked about today was the difference between adding others to our play as opposed to having an open marriage. Adding a third or having him play with other subs is one thing. If he wants to loan me out to another Dom or couple, that is his choice. But that is different from him having sex with someone else and not telling me about it until after the fact. Playing with others together is something I think I could handle, but him dating or meeting other without me might be too much.
I feel like I should be able to look at him and say, ‘whatever you want, no matter what, I am your slave’. But I am not sure that I can. I have a strange emotional reaction to Sir sleeping with someone else. If he gave me to another Dom, I would be doing as he ordered. My mind creates an escape clause from cheating as it would be his call. And a threesome would be both of us, so again, no cheating. I guess it is shitty for me to say that him sleeping around is cheating, but me doing it is ok just because he says. Honestly, sleeping with another person without involvement from Sir would really bother me. But, if that is what he wants, then that is what he gets.
But, the inevitable has happened and I am sick. I figured the airplanes and airports would catch up to me at some point. So my head is a ballon and my throat is killing me. I honestly thought about begging to give him oral in the hope that the semen would coat my throat. Because, that makes sense right?
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8 Responses to “The Future: Part Two”

  • DtBHC

    I’m glad the conversation went well. Airplanes are just horrible places. Hope you feel better.

    • CollaredMom

      Yeah, the baby has two ear infections too. Looks like a weekend of cuddles and tea. It’s a rough life.

  • sub hub in phx

    I’m totally with you CM. It would be one thing if there was a third in our mutual play, but quite another if Mistress were to decide she needed another lover for a relationship, even if it were only sexual. My tender heart wouldn’t survive.

    • CollaredMom

      I know. I guess it’s possible that one day an open marriage would be something to consider, but so is the possibility of me sprouting a third nipple to play with. Never say never, but probably definitely never.

  • ancilla_ksst

    I would much rather play WITH my Master, with someone else, that having him go out without me. Even if he was just going to dinner. I guess mostly I just don’t like to be left out. Although one of my fantasies is to be tied up completely and just have to watch or listen when he has sex with someone else. But I’m still part of things, if that makes any sense, just a tormented part.

    • CollaredMom

      That is it exactly. I am just needy and don’t want to be left out. I am with you; tied up and forced to watch is still part of it. I could handle that. It is the bit where he comes home and says he met some woman had a great date and a good fuck. Honestly, half my bitterness would be that we never get to go out on dates.

  • tori

    I dont think there is anything wrong with being needy, i am, terribly so.

    Would i be happy if my Master played with others without me? heck no, so he wouldnt do it because he would know it would cause me distress, its something that really requires a lot of discussion.

    Even as his slave, he will take my thoughts, feelings into consideration, he will push me, hard at times, but he would never do anything that could potentially cause damage to us.

    But really, good luck and enjoy the new adventures.

    x

  • K in New England

    Hi CM, just stumbled on your blog and very much enjoyed it. We too have had the conversation, but I don’t think it will ever materialize. I’m not sure I could handle it if he sought out someone else and had an affair. It’s one thing to mutually agree upon an arrangement and trying something new but hooking up with someone else behind my back or vice versa, that would cause serious damage to our marriage. Thanks and feel better.

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