Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Me and My Shadow

I recognize that I have only been in this lifestyle for a year or so. But I have been amazed at how much D/s is permeating through every aspect of my life.

Which leads me to a conundrum…Do I tell my counselor about BDSM?

I was seeing a counselor before we moved last year. Sir and I talked about telling her. We decided it was best if she knew. Sir compared it to going to a medical doctor. When you go to the doctor because your knee hurts they still ask you if you smoke or drink. It probably isn’t relevant to your knee pain, but you need to let the doctor decide what’s important. They need to see the whole you to figure out what is really wrong.

I really don’t think that being a submissive has anything to do with my depression. I was depressed before D/s and, if anything, it has helped me to stay on a more even keel. This most recent slump has just been about vanilla stress.

I guess I’m just mulling over the decision again. I don’t think I will be judged or anything (though I didn’t specify a kink-friendly counselor). I’m just always a little wary of telling people. I mean, I have one vanilla friend who knows the basics, but that’s it. And this woman is going to know a lot about me and my issues.

Curious to know what other’s think. I don’t mean to pry if you don’t want to share, but even just a general opinion about telling a professional like this would be appreciated.

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2 Responses to “Me and My Shadow”

  • JustMe

    Not long after I got into the lifestyle I went for a full STD check. One of the checks entailed an anal check of some type. Anyway I had bruises all over my arse. I was asked why I had bruises, I told them why. There was no judgement that I liked pain inflicted on me.

    The funny thing is, whilst they did not have a problem with the bruising they did have a problem with the anal sex.. LOL

    I’ve told two shrinks and a psychologist about my life as a sub.
    The first shrink knew nothing about it, but between that visit and the next he’d researched it.
    He was a bit ‘off’ on what it really was like, but it was nice to know he had checked it out and there was no judgement. I last saw him around 2004 I think.

    I told my current psychologist and psychiatrist about my experiences with BDSM, about 8 months ago.

    I’d had a lot of fucked up shit happen in the approx 9 years I was involved with the lifestyle.

    I didn’t originally want to tell them; but what had happened festered and caused further mental health issues.

    They to were not judgmental. I really thought once I’d told them all the really bad stuff that they’d order me out of their offices and tell me I was a disgusting person and to never come back.

    They didn’t and I’m SO glad I told them.

    So there are medical people out there who won’t judge you and will help you.

    Sometimes if you contact a sexual health hot line and find out if they have anyone on their books they can recommend.

    The place I went to for the STD check was used a lot by prostitutes, so the staff had seen and heard everything.

    Also on fetlife, there ‘might’ be a group that can suggest someone who is open minded?

    I guess it’s really up to you if you wish to tell them. But if they know of all of your life, both vanilla and bdsm, they will get to know you better. A good counselor won’t just flat out tell you to stop doing that you do. But will work with you.

    I wish you the best re: your depression. I’ve had bi polar for 12 years so know being sick can be a hard slog….

    • Rye

      Thanks. It seems that your experience has been similar to most of the people I talked to. No one was out and out rejected, and very few actually blamed the BDSM or told them to stop.

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