Am I allowed to be offended by Sir showing me a chastity belt shop website with the conversation non-starter, ‘we’ll talk’?
I mean, I know that I am allowed to feel offended. Dom or not, I am still allowed to feel things. But, in this case, are my feelings justified?
Why do I need a chastity belt? If it were for some kink, some real discussion about orgasm denial, that would be one thing. But it’s not. It is his way of dealing with the fact that my sex drive is higher/stronger/more than his. I know he hates when I say this, but how is that fair? I am being punished for wanting/enjoying sex often.
He made a comment on Twitter about how he feels that I am not master-focused enough. Putting a piece of metal between my legs that I have to pee through will not really help that. And I am trying. Not to bore you with general life issues, but I’m working really hard to keep all our balls in the air (not his though, he doesn’t like that). I use this blog to help me deal with any sexual frustration, I don’t take it out on him.
But the other night we finally got the kids to bed and we got a chance to play. It was late and after giving him a blow-job (a pretty good one, if I do say so myself) he started to argue with himself over whether or not I was going to get to cum. And, with an audible sigh (very audible), he made some comment about how if he didn’t let me for the second day in a row then I would be grumpy and pissy at him all day. The oral was good, amazing, in fact. But, I will admit that the orgasm isn’t quite as good when you feel like you forced your partner into it. If you aren’t feeling sexy, that’s fine. Pity orgasms aren’t satisfying.
I just really feel like I am being punished for my sexual needs. Right now sex is one of the few ways that I have to deal with stress. I don’t have time for a lot of the stress-relievers that I used to do. Cleaning, the kids, and my job have overtaken all attempts at productive freetime. Even if I get a chance to sit and read or sew something, all I can think about is the mountain of laundry waiting for me. Or whether or not he needs something. How much more master-focused does he want. I already have enough asses in the house to wipe.
Obviously, I am being obtuse. And I would never say anything that rude to his face. I am sure he has a better reason to broach this conversation. But, now that the damn has been opened, how much say do I have? On nights when he doesn’t want to use me, he shuts me out. Like if he ignores me, that’s my cue. If we are going to play, he waits until I crawl into bed and starts trying to rip my nipple off. If not, then he plays on some device (phone, Ipad, etc.) until I sigh (also audible) and turn the light off to go to sleep. Then, in the morning, he assumes that I am mad because I didn’t cum the night before. And that may be part of it, but the bigger problem is that intimate time is how I connect with him. And he holds all the cards (as I guess is the reality of D/s). But now I am going to be ‘trained’ out of my sexual desires and then what? He still won’t talk to me unless he wants his dick sucked? That is not worth any form of metal underwear.