“Who breaks up with Roses?” Welsley threw her bag on the floor by the door. Apparently my roommate had gotten my text message and came home from work early, even though I told her not to.
“Someone who knows how much I hate flowers.” I shrugged. I’m not even sure why I kept them; I wanted to throw them in the trash right away.
“But, I mean, why spend the money? If he was going to be a prick and break up with you, what was the point.”
“Because then he wouldn’t have to see me.” What a coward.
“What do you mean? He didn’t give you the flowers when he broke it off?”
“Nope. They were delivered by a hipster a few hours ago. And I am pretty sure whoever took the message at the flower shop didn’t speak English, because the card has XOXO at the end. If he actually told them to put that then he really is a prick.”
“Fuck him.” Welsley was yelling behind her as she walked into her room. I took the flowers and put vase and all into the trash. I was cleaning up the counter when she returned with a big box.
“What is that? He doesn’t have that much stuff in the apartment, and I’m probably just going to burn everything.”
“I forget that you haven’t been living with me long. I used to pull this out for Krista all the time. But she’s a slut. Anyway, it’s my break up kit.” She set it on the counter and starting pulling things out. I snatched the chocolate out of her hand before she could put it down. Then came three bottles of Arbor Mist. I looked at her quizzically. “What? Two for you, one for me.”
The ‘wine’ was followed quickly by the Blu-Ray of Thor, a vibrator, and a Chinese food menu. I blushed and shook my head at her.
“Ok babe, clear your evening. I am going to order us some Chinese, we are going to watch Chris Hemsworth be a half naked god while drinking cheap wine, and then you are going to take that vibrator back to your room and show yourself what a real orgasm feels like.” I couldn’t help but smile at her. I grabbed one of the bottles and walked to the couch. No point in dirtying a glass, I started to chug the sickly sweet drink.
“Sounds like the best date night I’ve had in a long time. Especially if orgasms are involved. And if you really expect me to drink both bottles of this crap, I may be hitting on you before the evening is out.”
Welsley grabbed the vibrator and her own Arbor Mist. She came to sit beside me on the couch. She leaned in and kissed me hard. I don’t know if it was the wine hitting me already or just her own talent, but it felt amazing.
“Sounds like we are both in for a lovely evening then.” I rubbed her thigh as she started the movie. “I’m sure we can make you forget all about the prick, but if you are still feeling blue tomorrow, we can get drunk again and watch Thor 2.”