Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Disappointment

Rye: I am sorry Sir.

Sir: Disappointment is not anger, Rye, remember that.

Rye: I know Sir. I would rather you were angry.

Sir gave me several orgasms last night. His attentiveness was beyond generous. I was begging to cum, begging to be fucked, begging to be his fuck puppet. And he did. Pulling on my collar, holding me down, I was riding a serious high. So, when he picked up speed and came himself, I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t realize how close I was, and I got taken away with his orgasm. And I came.

Without permission.

And he knew. He knew right away.

“You came.”

Whatever orgasmic glow I had shriveled up in an instant.

“We will deal with it tomorrow. For tonight, you can just hold me.”

See, Dom’s can be sensitive. It was so nice. I know he did it for me as much as for him. It was hot and muggy and he still let me hold him and have that few minutes of aftercare that I really needed.

But I still didn’t sleep. Even after the conversation where he told me he wasn’t angry. But I’m not that kind of sub. Having him disappointed in me is the worst feeling in the world. I want to be punished. I want to be forgiven. Laying in bed last night I just wanted it to be over. I think waiting for punishment is the hard thing. I would be fine if he was angry and yelling and pissed off. But that look of disappointment is crushing.

Hope to keep busy today and try not to think about it. I mean, it will be all I think about, but I still need to get things done. The last thing I want is to disappoint him more.

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4 Responses to “Disappointment”

  • ancilla ksst

    I’m sorry. That look and feeling is so hard, isn’t it?

    • Rye

      I would love to make excuses and say it was an accident, but it’s still my fault.

      But that feeling completely sucks. I hate that our limited time is being taken up with punishment. While he is a sadist, he doesn’t get the same thrill out of it. Our impact scenes are fun and sexy; correction spankings are serious. I just hate that disappointment in myself.

  • Midas

    So true.
    And I can relate to the .. by far not as fun and sexy as regular play time.
    Good luck on finishing the remaining tasks.

    • Rye

      Thanks. Hoping tonight we can deal with punishment and move on. Perhaps have some happier play times before bed. Sir has been texting desires all day, so I’ll take it as good sign.

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