Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

#happyslave

SaerWoland
@CollaredMom I see so much of you that no one sees. Your passion, tears and smiles. Because I own you. #happyslave #ownedproperty #lovedslut
5/20/15, 2:06 PM

I didn’t really think about it, but he is right. As much as I put myself out there on the internet through this blog and twitter, I’m actually very private. I don’t really post that much on Facebook for people who know the vanilla me. I am more than comfortable posting photos of my naked body; yesterday’s post has a close up shot of my clit for pete’s sake. But my body has very little to do with who I am.

As a writer/blogger, I hope that I convey some of my passion into my words. I write a lot about my struggle as a submissive; maybe I should write more about how easy submission is for me most of the time. I guess I think that would be boring for you to read. My passion often comes from the constant realization that being in a 24/7 TPE relationship is making me happier than I have ever been.

I am owned my another person and that makes me feel whole. I’m still dealing with the reality of that last sentence. When Sir and I got married I was happy, but I always felt like something was missing. People think that that had something to do with him, but it didn’t. It was always something missing from me. This is it. BDSM was what was missing. I know it sounds crazy, but when he grabs my hair and fucks my mouth I feel like I am where I am supposed to be. I could sit, clipped to the bed, and read and be completely comfortable. In fact, when I need to clear my head, I crave that simpler, quieter place. Even if he isn’t home. If I eventually buy a laptop I would do my work up there.

I have a business trip today. It is nothing fancy. I don’t get to spend the night at a hotel or anything fun. My company headquarters is about two hours away. So it is just a four hours in the car kind of day. But this will be my first work trip since before I was pregnant.

Going to back to work, even though I work from home, has been a difficult transition. But I am excited for this. I have several hours of music ready to go, Sir has approved lunch and dinner purchases, and I got gas yesterday to save time this morning. I am prepared to talk to other adults about topics other than Octonauts and sippy cups. This trip is just so I can exchange some of my materials and have some follow up training, but getting my questions answered will help my confidence too.

And, as a special treat, I get to go to my tattoo artist and have my back tattoo touched up. It took her about two hours to do originally and my body was starting to reject the ink by the end of it. So she wanted me to come back in to make sure she got everything and make minor fixes. I got this tattoo in October and this has been my first chance to get back. I am also going to start the design for my sleeve. I have been talking to Sir about it for awhile now, and he has allowed me to start planning. It will take some time, but if I will be traveling to get new material every month or so, I should be able to get a visit in each time. I am one excited slave.

After this whirlwind day we have a three day weekend for the Memorial Day holiday and no where to go. Hoping to get caught up on my weekly cleaning. I had to put a lot of it on hod while I got my work stuff around. Sir has been flexible with me, but I don’t want to let it lapse. But I am also hoping to get a chance to read, and obviously, for us to play. So I am looking forward to this long weekend. We have family visiting for awhile, but we will still, hopefully, have some time for the two of us to connect. Some time for me to be chained to the bed and him to see me there. In my place of submission. Where I am just his property. His loved, and finally whole property.

4 Responses to “#happyslave”

  • Blueberry Fizz

    I have to wonder if our liking to be tied up has to do with the release of responsibility so we can feel free to have our own thoughts, a mini vacation if you will. Further, people seem to yearn for a simpler time, I wonder if this has any relation to that?

    • Rye

      I understand that thinking and largely agree with it. In my ‘real’ life I constantly feel overwhelmed and stressed; having the chance to let all of that go, being forced to let all of that go, is so freeing. It’s a calm that I have never experienced before.

  • DtBHC

    Another lovely and thought provoking post. For me ownership and control is about my devotion and service, takes away any wants, curbs envy and jealousy, calms me and makes our relationship whole.

    • Rye

      Thank you. I definitely agree about the ‘wholeness’ thing. It has completely changed our dynamic, but in the best possible way.

      Hope the vacation is everything you want it to be.

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