I was born in 1985 (no, I am not trying to rub it in). So I am part of a generation (Y, I think) that didn’t really date. I grew up in a rural community where it took half an hour to drive anywhere, and there was nothing to drive to. In high school I had boyfriends, but we mostly hung out in groups or at one another’s homes. I think I went out to dinner before my senior prom, which, looking back, is a night I would rather forget all around. But that was pretty much it. I didn’t have a ‘real’ date until I was in college.
It was the summer before my senior year and I had just gotten back from my semester abroad. I felt worldly, but also incredibly horny and I hadn’t been in a relationship for over a year. So, when a friend suggested a guy that she thought I might like, I didn’t immediately shut her down. Why I agreed to a blind date though I will never know. An act of desperation. I think I wanted to feel special, and get laid, I remember really wanting to get laid. Maybe even just felt up in the movie theatre, there is no harm in that.
Rather than have him pick me up at my house, we both met up where I worked. The girls I worked with all came to critique my outfit and ‘prepare’ me for the evening. I didn’t think I was that much of a spaz in my early twenties, but apparently that view is not agreed upon by all. Adam (I honestly can’t remember his name, so this may or may not be a successful attempt at anonymity) was on time and nicely dressed, but I knew the evening was a bust as soon as I looked at him.
I grew up in a farming community. Where everyone knows everyone and your probably related to most. Where the idea of leaving the country was scary, and people thought I was weird for not knowing how to shoot a gun, much less own one. And as soon as I set eyes on him, I knew that when I told him I wanted to go to grad school in Scotland he would look at me as if I had grown another head. It would have been really hard for me to have sex with someone like that, horny or not.
So we went to dinner at a local Mexican restaurant. We hit all the non-religious and non-political conversation topics. It was awkward as he described what he was looking for in a woman, especially when he said blond. Guess he took sex off the table pretty quick too. But we went to see a movie and then drove back to work. I don’t remember what movie we saw, or much else about the evening. I remember feeling pretty disappointed at the end of it. My mom asked me how it went when I got home and couldn’t really answer her. Obviously not well, but it wasn’t like it was his fault. I think I told her that he wore a camouflage baseball hat and she just nodded and went to bed. We just didn’t mesh. I don’t remember us having anything in common. I think he commented on how he liked that I ate like a person, as all of the other girls he dated only ordered salads and left half their food. I took it as a compliment.
But it was a date. A ‘he paid for everything and I wore a dress’ date. My one, and hopefully only, blind date. I did feel special, but not by him. By all the people who wanted me to have a good time and who asked me how it went. They made the experience a fun memory.
This was my only date before I met Sir. I know it sounds pathetic, but considering my bad experience, I’m not too torn up about it. Sir and I rarely get the opportunity to date now. Maybe a dinner out here or there, but any outing that includes a run to the grocery to buy diapers doesn’t count as a date in my book. I can probably count on one hand the number of times in the last few years that I have been able to dress up and look my best for Sir. But, then again, it all depends on what is important to you. For us, occasional junk food and curling up on the couch naked together is a perfect evening. Or at least, me kneeling in front of the couch anyway.
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