Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Once you go black…

In moving around our first floor last weekend, my books had to migrate. I will openly state that I have a book addiction. And I read just about everything. But in moving one of the bookshelves to the new dining room, I had to move my enormous collection of romance novels. Most are by the same author, all take place in the British Isles, mostly Scotland. I’m a sucker for Scotland. Anyway, as usually happens, I saw a cover that caught my eye, and I sat down to read it.

Romance novels are pretty basic (for those of you who don’t obsessively read them like I do). Couple meet, lots of sex, insurmountable problem occurs, they beat the odds and end up together. They are sort of a feel good read for me. I know there is going to be a happy ending and some sex in the middle, it’s a win win.

But kink has changed that. It’s still a feel good read, but these books don’t have the same pull that they used to. I’ll read one occasionally as a ‘fun book’ (a term that I used in college to delineate books I read for pleasure as opposed to those I read for class), but I don’t read them to put me in a sexual place anymore. I have amazing blogs that have replaced that niche in my life. So my paperback bookshelf just doesn’t get the attention that it used to.

It’s like porn (I know that was a bit of a leap, but please stay with me). We have a collection of vanilla porn. Videos that Sir purchased himself or that we picked out together as we were trying various things before we found BDSM. And the other day I was craving some video simulation. Sir looked at me and said, “You want to watch the vanilla stuff?”. He sounded quite surprised. But it got me thinking about it. And it’s like vanilla sex is just regular tv now. Like my romance novels are just books. Watching sex is interesting, I mean, I’m not going to change the channel. Having it on in the background when we play wouldn’t be terrible. But it doesn’t have the same effect that it used to. I would read ‘mommy porn’ before bed and then tackle Sir as soon as he came in because I was so hot for sex. Part of me is a little bummed that I can’t get ramped up like that anymore. Though now all he has to do is pull on my collar or tell me to kneel and I’m a dripping mess. Given the option I’ll take the second one.

So I don’t think that vanilla porn or romance novels are like my pathetic pun of a title. I can still enjoy and appreciate them; even if they don’t turn me on the same way. But I am a little surprised at how quick that change took place. I’ve been collared a little over a year and kink really is my sexual expression now. I can’t even think of the last time we had sex that didn’t include some manner of D/s or control. But my bookshelf will still continue to be added to and I have no plans of deleting our porn selection. You never know when it might come in handy. And if I got rid of all my romance novels my mom would know something was up and get mad as she could no longer borrow them.

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8 Responses to “Once you go black…”

  • Simina

    I have an extensive collection of historical romance novels. I have always preferred historical ones, medieval in particular because they all have a D/s vibe to them. The husband owns the wife literally and is usually protective and overbearing and possessive. Sometimes there is even spanking. Those were always my favorites.

    I have a hard time getting into kinky fiction. The closest I’ve gotten is domestic discipline romance, because it’s basically D/s plus spanking, which are probably my two primary fetishes.

    I definitely have an extensive collection of Scottish historical romance novels. And several still make me happy.

    • Rye

      I never thought of the medieval ones having a D/s vibe, but you are right. Now that I think about it (because those are the bulk of what I read) there is a lot of ‘protector’ and ownership elements to them.

      Maybe I was secretly into kink all along. 🙂

      • Simina

        I highly recommend picking up Prisoner of My Desire, Fires of Winter, Hearts Aflame, and Surrender My Love all by Johanna Lindsey. They all have themes of slavery in them and the kink elements are a little more obvious, even if they aren’t intended to be kinky.

        • Rye

          I will. Have you ever read anything by Cherise Sinclair? She has a few stand alone books, but she also writes that Masters of the Shadowlands Series. They are quite good too.

          • Simina

            The name sounds familiar. So I have probably seen it in a bookstore, but I can’t say I’ve read them.

          • Rye

            I’ve been pretty happy with them. There are recurring characters as the series grows and there are storylines with people who are new to BDSM and those who have been in the lifestyle for years. I wouldn’t use them for educational materials by any means, but they are very well written.

  • Midas

    Recent answer: No Master.
    Recent question to yield that answer: Before ttwd .. was there any occasion where the sex was better hotter or more satisfying ?

    • Rye

      Sir and I feel the same way. Even when I don’t cum, the sex is worlds away from where it was before BDSM.

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