Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Someone turn off that ticking clock!

My baby turns 1 today. My last baby is not longer a baby; now he’s a 1 year old. I won’t bore or gross you out with the dramatic tale of his birth. It’s cliche, but that seems so long ago now. I remember staying in the hospital room with him. Just watching him sleep; obviously not sleeping myself. And now his growing up just marks my own aging.

Don’t get me wrong, we are very much done having kids. My pregnancies were rough, for several reasons. And there are loads of financial reasons why two is a good stopping point. If Sir and I are honest, kink is a pretty big factor too. I think there is a part of us that want them already grown and out of the house. If we had found D/s before we had kids, I’m not sure we would have. (I hate that I think that some times.)

But right now, looking at him so big and almost walking; I really want another one. He was cruising around the lake house today and was just reminding me how tiny he use to be.  When he would fall asleep on our chests and cuddle. I was folding up some of his clothes that have gotten too small and it was just so sad that he would never fit into them. That I wouldn’t have another little one to fill them.

I’ll be fine. Two is plenty. We have our hands full and Sir and I don’t get enough time together as it is. But I’m sure these birthdays will get more nostalgic. It doesn’t help that I’m turning 30 in a few weeks either. I’ll have another emotional break down about that later. Right now, cake.

2 Responses to “Someone turn off that ticking clock!”

  • Tamar

    I know that feeling! LOL I had to stop after my first, pre-eclampsia and a DVT almost killed me during my first pregnancy, didn’t feel brave enough to roll those dice again. But watching my son grow up (he’s 11 now and as tall as I am) has been one of the best things in my life. It is definitely bittersweet to miss your baby but feel the wonder and excitement of watching your child grow up.

    • Rye

      Yeah. The conversation regarding a 3rd was very brief after everything with this last one. It wasn’t altogether as dramatic as some, but just more stress than either of us need again.

      I just don’t want to miss anything.


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