Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

The Conversation

Sir: I saw you were flirty on Twitter today. Were you touching yourself all morning?

Me: Yes, Sir. I was thinking of you. Is that ok?

Sir: Sure, keep it up. I’ll have you licking pussy and sucking more dicks than you can handle soon. Tied to a chair, watching me fuck a woman senseless.

Me: Yes, Sir.

Sir: That was a lackluster response.

Me: Sorry.

Sir: I thought you were looking forward to adding another person to our play.

Me: Yeah, I am excited about playing with a woman someday. I’m just worried about how it will affect me and our relationship. Do you think you could watch me have sex with another man?

Sir: Watch you suck another man’s cock because I told you to. Beat you for encouragement. I think I would enjoy it. Maybe we could start with a fucking machine to ease us both into it.

Me: I’m not sure that would be easing for me, but ok. I think I would enjoy the activity while it was happening, obviously. I am more worried about after. Feeling unfaithful, or getting to a point where you wanted another sub/slave full time. Feeling like I’m not enough for you. My insecurities just go a little crazy.

Sir: Another slave living with us? Could be nice for childcare. She wouldn’t have to sleep with us every night.

Me: I don’t know if I could do that. Share my home and my family with another person like that.

Sir: Would it be better if she lived somewhere else?

Me: No, maybe even worse, now that I think about it. Then you spend more time out of the house. God that makes me sounds really selfish. I’m just not sure I’m ready to share you. Is that ok? That I’m not ready to go out every weekend and play with other people or couples just yet?

Sir: Of course it is.

Me: But what if I’m never ready to add a third? You really want a pain toy. What happens on that day when you bring a new slave to the dungeon?

Sir: We’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we. Maybe you’ll grow to the idea.

Me: Yes, Sir.

 

Wicked Wednesday

6 Responses to “The Conversation”

  • Marie Rebelle

    This sounds like an important conversation and as if a lot of conversations still have to be had before you will be ready. we’ve had conversations for years before I was almost ready to try anything ‘outside’ our marriage. Eventually, after trying it once, I felt okay with it.

    Rebel xox

    • Rye

      Thank you. That is exactly what I was trying to share. Conversations are important things. I’m sure this won’t be the last. And that’s something that we haven’t always had.

  • Simina

    I am unabashedly selfish in the fact that I won’t share or be shared. I’m very up front about that before I go into a relationship though.

    This is definitely something you have to be ready for though, or it can break the shit out of you.

    • Rye

      I think that’s it. I want to be willing to try something that he feels he really wants, but I don’t want to go into without preparing myself for the possible fall out. I know he won’t push me too far too fast though. We’ll get there.

  • sub-Bee

    “Feeling like I’m not enough for you” that could be me speaking. Sharing him whilst I’m watching is fine, him going to meet her without me just tears me apart. I know I’m who he wants but it doesn’t stop those insecurities bubbling up. I feel like I should be emotionally mature enough to handle those thoughts but I’m not, one day maybe but not now.

    • Rye

      I agree completely. When I get upset about it, I just feel really immature about our relationship. I should be strong enough to realize that play and love aren’t always the same. He can play with another person and still only love me. And for whatever reason I feel like I could handle it if I was watching (like you) rather than him going off somewhere else with someone.

      It’s definitely a maybe someday type thing. Thank you for sharing your similar struggles.

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