Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

A swift kick

Monday is going to be my swift kick in the ass to get up and going. I am getting lonely at this little pity party and honestly, I just don’t have time for it.

I let little things get to me. They used to put me into depressive slumps that would last for days. Now, with the meds, I have made progress and I can pull myself out of the dips after a good night sleep and some good coffee. Last night, however, was not a good night sleep. With Sir gone the 4yo and the dog slept with me. And the baby’s cough came back last night and kept me up listening. He’s a healthy kid, it’s not like he’s going to stop breathing or anything, but that doesn’t mean I don’t lay there in a mom panic.

But, tired or not, I have to let crap go. Sir will be home tonight, so that will sort out the piece of me that is missing him. I worry about the blog, whether you guys are bored with me. When my stats go down I fret about what I am writing and what I need to change. So, sorry, but I can’t worry about that either. I just have to write what I write. This blog wasn’t really about getting a J.K. Rowling writing deal (I’m not that diluted). This is my journey, which I will be the first to admit isn’t always entertaining. But every day can’t be filled with hours of beatings and rough sex when you have young children. Maybe after a few more years of practice we’ll get a sexier rhythm down.

So, today is about letting it go and focusing on this week. The house may close as early as Friday. So I’m racing to line up survey companies and see about getting fence quotes. We really want to have a fence in before the ground freezes. If we are going to be working on renovations over the weekends, our dog and dad’s dog need to be able to go outside safely. And, I have my paid work to do too. I can’t get behind on that as we start this renovation process or I will never catch up. Oh yeah, and the boys destroyed my lovely clean house over the weekend, so I will have to work on that in my free time.

And, because that’s not enough, this weekend Sir let me sew. It’s an addictive hobby. I’m working on a baby size quilt. He let me work on the piecing on Saturday and now all I want to do is keep working on it. It’s so relaxing. So I may try to squeeze in some sewing in the next few days. I would love to have it ready for quilting so I can take it around during the holidays. It’s nice when people want to sit and visit to have something to do. And groping Sir isn’t always appropriate around family (or so I’ve been told).

Need more coffee. My day just got really busy really fast.

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3 Responses to “A swift kick”

  • ancilla ksst

    I always enjoy your blog, kink or no kink. It’s very real and easy to relate to, and I like that.

    • Rye

      Thanks. I love your blog. You keep me hopeful that things will get better as our kids get older.

  • ancilla ksst

    Better in some ways, but you will miss those days when they are so little and do those cute things that they do.

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