Inspiration has been a bit lacking lately. Overwhelmed doesn’t even begin to describe my emotions over the last week. The newest is just saying ‘Thank you’. It sounds so easy. I say it to Sir all the time. And it’s not like I’m rude in public. I say thank you. But this is a different animal.
Sir’s mom has offered to help us pay for daycare for the kids. Right now they go half-day. I am supposed to do my paid work in the morning and then attempt to clean and get housework done in the afternoon. But with the boys here I can rarely get everything sorted out. Now, with the house and all of the work that needs to be sorted I am struggling to get my work done in the mornings as well. Tomorrow is our inspection and I know that that will take my entire morning. So the idea of having the freedom in the afternoon to complete work and stay up with the house would be great. Sir and I have talked about sending them for the whole day before, but it was hard to justify the expense. I don’t get paid that much and we are trying to save for the renovation and moving. So I should take her generous gift and just say thank you.
But I was raised that you should work for things. So the idea of just taking money from her sounds horrible. It’s the same with my parents, that are helping us with the down payment of the house so we can save our money for the renovation. I know that they just want to help. They want us to be in a nice home. And I can try to accept it by way of saying that it’s for the kids. They would do well at preschool and daycare full-time. They are social kids and they can get more exercise and interaction than I can give them at home. In the afternoons I am focused on cleaning and I don’t give them the attention they deserve.
So it’s good. I should be happy. But I still feel like I’m taking something that I haven’t earned. This is going to be a rough few months.