I had a whole post for this morning ready to go. Writing about how I messed up yesterday and how horrible I felt. I may rework it and put it up some other time. But last night Sir apologized for overreacting to the situation. Saying that he didn’t need to respond so cruelly and that I hadn’t really done anything wrong given the information I had.
But it still hurt. He apologized, he said he was in the wrong. I should be able to let it go and move on. But I laid on the floor and hurt. I had felt terrible all day. Like a terrible slave that was in for some horrific punishment and that I had let Sir down. I couldn’t get into a good head space all day. Not that that is his fault. Just because I have issues doesn’t mean that he needs to take the fall for that.
So a new day. But everything still feels awkward. I guess in a vanilla relationship he would buy me flowers or something to say sorry and move on. And aside from the fact that I hate flowers, that’s not what we are. So is it just something that I have to let go. Take his apology as the end of it and move on. It’s not like I don’t have enough to keep me busy. I think I’m just still walking on eggshells with him though. We’re not joking and laughing like we usually do. There is still that tension hanging over us. And I don’t know if it’s my job to address it or ignore it. I know I want it to go away. Between work and the kids we won’t spend enough time together as it is; having it filled with silence is crap.