Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

A whole new set of fears

I don’t know how to be a dominant. I am organized and I have high expectations, but that doesn’t translate to a FLM. I think it will be a lot harder for me to make a dominant headspace work. But I want to do what I can to help him focus on his career right now. But, in that same vein, how do I do that? Can I tell him to help me with housework? Or to buy me a gift just because I want to be spoiled?

The idea of this switch set up is to help both of us stay focused. Helping me to process my sexual energy better. Maybe I’ll masturbate on Skype and make him watch. But that won’t be being very supportive of his workload.

We have been using my organizational strengths as part of my slave responsibilities. I pay the bills and manage our budget, but I would still need to ask for permission to spend. So, turning that around for half the day could be confusing. It’s possible that some things may have to stay in a sub headspace. So I have already started to think about how I can compartmentalize these two frames of mind. As well as my job, the kids, and the renovation.

I don’t want to screw this up. I want to give it my full attention and focus. I have my reservations about my own abilities, but I need to show him that I’m serious about wanting to make things work. And if that means not getting to be a slave 24/7, then I can live with that. Honestly, if I can do this, then I believe that it will make my time as a submissive better. More fulfilling as I will helping him to be as satisfied as I am. I just want him to be happy. And I’m worried that I will ruin it.

He wants me to think about a name for myself. His organizer. It doesn’t have to be a dominant name. But I will run his life during the day so he can run mine at night. Not sure of a good name for that. Miss Secretary doesn’t quite sound fun enough. Mistress sounds too formal. And Rye puts me in my slave headspace, so I want to stay far away from that. I will take suggestions.

4 Responses to “A whole new set of fears”

  • ancilla ksst

    I don’t know what FLM is?
    This sounds like a whole new chapter for you!
    I hope it is enjoyable!
    Names, possibly with a dominant sound:
    Miss(your name here)
    Lady (your name here)
    Domina

    • Rye

      FLM = Female led marriage
      It will be an interesting ride. I’m sure you will get to hear all about it. And thanks for the name suggestions.

  • Saer Woland

    Change is scary but necessary. I need this change in order to manage the stress in my life. I can’t be the leader, the dominant, that Rye needs with everything that is going on. So, we are going to try a change. Rye is going to help me be my “better self” while I am at work, by preventing me from giving in to my hunger for distraction and procrastination. She will hold me to a higher standard. Because we don’t do anything halfway, I am going to allow Rye to have Carte Blanche in my life, during her hours “on top.” This means that she can focus on additional goals, such as helping me to have more sexual energy. Rye does not have to wonder whether she is furthering my goals or her own goals, because during her time it doesn’t matter. She can further a goal for me or for herself and it doesn’t matter, because satisfactory performance is required regardless of “whose” goal it is.

    This is only a short explanation. I’m sure there’s more Icould say, when I get the time.

    Neither of us were ready for 24/7 when we tried it. We both really wanted it, but that’s not the same as being ready. What we are trying now is something that is more atuned to what we NEED than what we WANT. It will probably lead somewhere else, as life does, giving us only paths to walk and not answers to enjoy.

    Rye, I know you won’t screw this up. We’re just going to focus on having fun. For example, once you read this comment and have had some time to think on it, you can think of fun ways of getting me to tell you how much of my “work time” I spent writing this out (and you can do that completely without stating that you are unhappy that I wrote it).

    • Rye

      I love you. I NEED you and WANT you any way that I can get you. And we’ll figure it out.

      And I’ll torture you later. Just for fun. 🙂

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