Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

What’s important

I’m in a crappy mood. I’m glad it’s Friday, but it’s been a rough week. Sir and I are working through a lot. We are both trying to make sense of what we want from each other. It sounds so easy, but I’m really struggling. And it’s bringing me further down than I would like. This morning, while making coffee, I actually thought about asking Sir to take off my collar. Just thinking about it made me want to cry. But I don’t feel like I’m earning it. I don’t even know what it means right now.

I keep waiting to wake up. I keep waiting for it to be some sort of test like Scott taught Kaya last year. Of course, since I know that story, it doesn’t quite work. And I guess I’m just looking for an easy fix. Something that requires the least amount of change from me. That’s pathetic. See, there’s a reason for me feeling down.

Sir and I haven’t had a lot of time together lately. And all of our time is spent talking. I’m just tired and cold. And today a lot of work has to get done. And I guess that’s more important right now.

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2 Responses to “What’s important”

  • Tamar

    I will say this- it sounds like you have so much going on right now with the house stuff, it’s got to be adding to y’all stress level. Stay aware of that fact, and keep in mind that you both need to be kind and patient and supportive of each other while dealing with this stuff. Kaya’s extreme kind of relationship doesn’t work for everybody, neither does my laid back one, and there’s a vast spectrum of everything in between. You guys are trying to figure out what works for you both, trying to get on the same page together and that is good, talking is good, figuring out what you each really want out of the relationship and each other is good. If it doesn’t exactly match up at first, don’t panic- people adapt and change over time and trying to compromise on non-hard limit things can help you meet in the middle if you really love and care about each other and want to make it work. It’s really a partnership, working together, and it sounds like you two are trying to do just that. Just go easy on each other while you try to figure this stuff out, these talks and soul searching stuff can be exhausting but so worth it.

    • Rye

      Thank you. It’s the breadth of the spectrum that I’m still getting used to. The stress is making things difficult, but I refused to let it beat me. We’ll get there. Sometimes I just wish it were easier. Somehow I thought this would make marriage easier. We work so well together, I thought that BDSM was the last piece of the puzzle and everything would simpler. I think maybe I’m just impatient.

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