Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

No such thing as guiltless

I am angry. And frustrated. But all I want to do is curl up in bed with some ice cream and an action movie while I cry. Of course, then I would get stressed out worrying about weight gain and the fact that should be doing something else.

I would love a long session of beating and orgasms. To be tied up in pretty bondage and tied to something for awhile. But then I would just feel guilty for not spending the time with my kids or making a healthier dinner. I’m just not having any opportunity to relax. I didn’t realize how much it would affect me day to day. A few days without an outlet and I’m a mess.

I had a dream last night. The perfect job fell in my lap. They loved me and the place was exactly where I could see myself working until retirement. It was in my field and everything that I wanted to do with my career. And then I woke up. And are you ready for the worst part. I felt bad that I had such a good dream that my family wasn’t in. It was a job interview, it didn’t make sense for them to be there, but I still felt bad. It was a god damn dream and I woke up feeling horrible. Talk about starting your day off on the wrong foot.

Today I have a pile of work and various other projects to sort out. I was going to start wrapping presents as it usually calms me down, but I don’t think I will have time. Maybe I can squeeze in a workout instead to try and balance myself out. Coffee just isn’t cutting this morning.

 

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