Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Best Laid Plans

Well, good news and bad news I’m afraid. Though I don’t know which is which to be honest.

First, I’m an emotional bitch. Twenty-four hours without an orgasm and I was testy and tired. It was hard. And it would have been so easy. After my workout I walked back into our room, all naked and warm. It would have been easy. The Doxy was right there in the drawer, a myriad of dildos right next to it. There was pull, trust me. I like to think that I was somehow strong by resisting the urge, but I just felt lousy. Stupid oxytocin withdrawal.

But, then the husband came home. He had had a stressful, but good day. And after the kids went to bed he wanted to play. What was I supposed to say? Of course. Of course is the answer, always.

So I got a spanking and some lovely sex. I tried guys, believe me. I really wanted it to be all about him. I thought if I could focus on him that he might want more. Wow, that sounds really selfish. I love how me trying to be good just turns into selfish. See….bitch.

But, for all my attempts, it wasn’t to be. I guess I should be more upset, but I got to come, so not really feeling too bad about it. I was standing strong (and by standing I mean on my knees getting fucked from behind) for awhile, but then he started to do this hip thing. My resolve lasted about thirty seconds and we both had explosive orgasms.

So, today I am starting over. This weekend we are staying at his mom’s house, so we’ll have to be good. The Doxy will stay at home. So I’m sure I will hit more than 30-hours this time. Hopefully I can keep it together. By the time we get home on Sunday I may be a mass of stress. And maybe he will get ‘inspired’ again and reset my clock. At this point caffeine seems to be my replacement drug of choice for the withdrawal. Mochas are the same as orgasms, right?

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