You know when you really screw up. You say something dumb and really hurt your partner’s feelings. And a fight/serious conversation ensues. You may attempt to justify your actions, you may just try various ways to apologize. Either way, hopefully, before it’s too late in the evening, your point is made and you are forgiven. Maybe just a misunderstanding or an honest mistake, but you’re past it. How do you reconnect and reassure each other that you’re both past this hiccup? For many couples, sex is a great way to do that. It shows trust and care for the other person that may have been rattled.
So last night I had make-up sex with myself. I was horrible to me yesterday. I doubted my worth and spent the day not letting myself get motivated to do anything. It was soul crushing. And as much as I would love to blame my period or the new year, I honestly don’t know why I was doing it. It was destructive and painful. And every time I tried to rationalize it to myself as being Sir’s fault or something I couldn’t control it just made it worse.
Anyway, I gave myself a moany, squirty orgasm. The kind where I had to lay out a towel to sleep on afterward and I will change the sheets today. It was ok. I mean, it was awesome, but an ok kind of awesome. I think I still have trust issues with myself. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have religious or moral issues with masturbation. I’m just not that good at it. I’ll get there, eventually. But it’s not the same as his hands on me. But last night was about forgiving myself.
The first step is admitting you were wrong; and then rubbing one out to make all better. Or something like that.
Happy New Year!