Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Running

Version 2

I asked for a pair of running shoes for Christmas. My mom bought them. She said she couldn’t pass up the opportunity to purchase such small shoes. I wear size 7.5 (she doesn’t read this, but I still won’t say how big her feet are). I guess it could be called a New Year’s resolution, even though I’ve been trying to exercise and lose weight for months now. But I laced these up on January 1st and had a good run.

I was actually surprised how good I felt. With the holidays and all the work on the house my work out routine has been anything but consistent. Ok, let’s be honest, it’s been completely destroyed. But, as we move toward our literal move I would like to get it re-established so it doesn’t fall apart again. So I have been happy that these first few days have gone well. Three days and three work outs. I am hoping to get back to my cross country days. I run for an hour and feel pretty good, but I need to increase the intensity and the distance though to really make strides on the weight loss.

Sir is taking more of a supportive role as far as my exercise is concerned. Since we’ve been home the last few days he’s been helping to make sure I have time to work out. But this isn’t really something he cares to control. He wants me to be healthy, but it’s my responsibility to get there. In general he likes my body the way it is, stretch marks, tummy roll and all. But there is a health factor to being overweight, so he understands my goal.

Last year I struggled with that reality. I think I expected him to push me and regulate my progress. But out of work, the kids, and the rest of me, worrying about if I worked up a sweat without him isn’t really on the top of his list. He expects me to handle this. I think that’s the largest part of submission that I wasn’t prepared for. Submission is partly about taking care of your own shit. Keeping things together and not bothering him about every little problem. He knows that I am strong, even when I forget. And submission isn’t about pestering him every five minutes. It’s about taking care of the house, kids, and parts of me to make his day to day easier.

One of the big steps in 2016 is to make sure I remember my responsibilities as his sub. So running and managing my health is my challenge. I usually avoid everything from doctor’s appointments to eating right. But he wants me healthy, so in that sense I am following his orders. He just can’t micromanage this, so he trusts me to handle it.

So I’ll run and keep pushing myself. Maybe once I start losing some weight I will buy myself a new outfit to show Sir how much I want to look good for him. I know he will see the true submission in that. And it’s a win/win as I get to look sexy and he gets to see me in something tight and probably see-through.

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