I am anything but a clean freak. I have two small children, if I was concerned about dirt I would have broken a long time ago. But dirt and filth are not at all the same thing. Dirt and the house mess is just ground up cheerios and applesauce dried into the carpet. Filth, filth is beautiful.
To me, filth is that wonderful mixture of bodily fluids that you get covered in after an amazing round of sex. Semen, sweat, spit, and lube. Any combination creates a sticky mess that makes the room and everything in it smell of sex. After our scenes, even after I had been to the bathroom and washed up, I loved to come back to our room and just smell the lingering aroma of the evening. The fragrance practically calms me all by itself. Add the occasional smells of blood or piss and the feeling only deepens.
Normally anything that is describes as gooey is not for me. I’m a mom, I deal with it. I clean it up. But I don’t enjoy it. Sex goo is different. It’s filthy in an, “I’m a dirty girl” sort of way. It makes me feel accomplished. That state of filth is proof of the connection that Sir and I have. Before D/s I would get up quickly after sex. Getting ‘clean’ was a priority. It was merely a product that needed to be cleaned and ignored. Now I appreciate what the filth/goo represents.
Even without D/s, or whatever our BDSM relationship turns into, I’m not going to go back to being ashamed of the various fluids of sex. They are something to be enjoyed and celebrated. I’ve found that often semen gets a lot of press. It’s pretty across some skinny girls tits or covering her face. Not that I’m arguing the validity of that. But I find the mix of everything so much more arousing. What he pulls out of me. What he inspires in me just as much as what I inspire in him. It’s filthy and it’s fun and it’s everything that makes me calm and happy. That aftercare blanket does get washed now and then, but it does have a wonderful smell of everything we are.
I think the word filth equates to something wrong for most people. They don’t want to be ‘dirty’ or seen that way. And, if I’m honest, going more than a day without a shower doesn’t make me feel great. But there are sometimes, when laying in bed, covered in sweat and sex feels so good. Changing the sheets can wait. Sometimes you just need to enjoy the filth.