Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Sore never felt so good

It’s been a long time since I’ve been sore. It’s not like we completely stopped having sex during our D/s break. Even some lovely bits of rough sex. And I wish I could properly explain the difference between rough sex and D/s sex. It’s probably just a mental thing.

So we have been taking things slow as we attempt a new dynamic set up. There has been a lot less posing and a lot more cuddling. Which both of us seem to enjoy. And when he started our scene last night with cuddles and petting I was so relaxed and gooey he could have done anything. And he did. And it was lovely. Even the part where he hit my breasts with the belt. The twisting and writhing didn’t make him stop, but he would occasionally run his hand along my leg to let me know how proud he was of me. I practically begged for more as I simultaneously arched into the blow and twisted away from them.

Then there is all the wonderful slamming and ramming. I never would have considered those verbs to be used to describe my sexual activities. But they are always present in my best memories. As well as all the lovely soreness. I woke up this morning with this great throbbing. That used feeling seeping into every part of me as I curled up with our duvet. Sir even got the kids downstairs and let me lay in bed for awhile and enjoy my soreness.

This new dynamic of spoiled morning and cuddles isn’t what I thought I wanted. I thought I needed to be posed and beaten to tears to be a good submissive. And no matter how many people I talked to or tutorials I watched that explained that each relationship works differently, I didn’t learn. I tried to force myself and him into this BDSM box of tumblr pictures that was never going to work. And I refused to open myself up to the possibility of enjoying something that wasn’t the definition I created in my head. If nothing else, I think the ‘break’ finally shook that loose. I could finally see passed the expectations.

And now, now I enjoy the soreness and bliss of his happiness. Of his pleasure in my pain.

My coffee tastes better this morning than it has in a long time.

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7 Responses to “Sore never felt so good”

  • Tamar

    “This new dynamic of spoiled morning and cuddles isn’t what I thought I wanted. I thought I needed to be posed and beaten to tears to be a good submissive. And no matter how many people I talked to or tutorials I watched that explained that each relationship works differently, I didn’t learn. I tried to force myself and him into this BDSM box of tumblr pictures that was never going to work. And I refused to open myself up to the possibility of enjoying something that wasn’t the definition I created in my head. If nothing else, I think the ‘break’ finally shook that loose. I could finally see passed the expectations.”

    This, is so wonderful to see! And yes, it’s a really hard lesson to learn, but so happy you’re moving past the expectations and ‘tumblr pictures’ into a reality that works better for both of you. So glad to see you happy!

    • Rye

      Thank you. I really thought as an intelligent, educated woman I could make sense of why it wasn’t working. But in reality it was my immobile nature that was the problem.

      Thank you for being supportive as I’m sure you wanted to shake me more often than not.

      • Tamar

        Nah, no shaking- I’ve been there. It was hard to get through and I made a shit ton of mistakes along the way and it was really hard and painful to get through- I guess that’s why I speak up when I can, I hate to see others hurting and stuck and frustrated like I was but truth is, it’s just something we all have to get through (or not, I see way too many languish unhappy and frustrated, getting more and more bitter till the relationship crumbles and they don’t even know why). I’m really glad to see you coming out the other side, though, and hope your journey just keeps getting better for both of you.

  • Dawn

    I’m kind of approaching it from the other direction 🙂
    I kept wondering if it really was BDSM, was I really a ‘proper’ sub? There are lots of love and cuddles between the beating, tying and using. The internet is such a useful resource but we all need to make our own way and not try and force ourselves to fit other people’s ideas of what we ‘should’ be.
    I’m glad you’re working things out.
    x

    • Rye

      Thanks. I love reading about your journey as well.

  • Dawn

    I really like reading about people who are actually learning and discovering rather than those who want to dictate to people about how they ‘must’ do something. We can all learn from and support each other 😀
    x

    • Rye

      I agree. This is quite a process. Harder than I thought it would be. But the support from everyone is amazing.

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