It’s been a long time since I’ve been sore. It’s not like we completely stopped having sex during our D/s break. Even some lovely bits of rough sex. And I wish I could properly explain the difference between rough sex and D/s sex. It’s probably just a mental thing.
So we have been taking things slow as we attempt a new dynamic set up. There has been a lot less posing and a lot more cuddling. Which both of us seem to enjoy. And when he started our scene last night with cuddles and petting I was so relaxed and gooey he could have done anything. And he did. And it was lovely. Even the part where he hit my breasts with the belt. The twisting and writhing didn’t make him stop, but he would occasionally run his hand along my leg to let me know how proud he was of me. I practically begged for more as I simultaneously arched into the blow and twisted away from them.
Then there is all the wonderful slamming and ramming. I never would have considered those verbs to be used to describe my sexual activities. But they are always present in my best memories. As well as all the lovely soreness. I woke up this morning with this great throbbing. That used feeling seeping into every part of me as I curled up with our duvet. Sir even got the kids downstairs and let me lay in bed for awhile and enjoy my soreness.
This new dynamic of spoiled morning and cuddles isn’t what I thought I wanted. I thought I needed to be posed and beaten to tears to be a good submissive. And no matter how many people I talked to or tutorials I watched that explained that each relationship works differently, I didn’t learn. I tried to force myself and him into this BDSM box of tumblr pictures that was never going to work. And I refused to open myself up to the possibility of enjoying something that wasn’t the definition I created in my head. If nothing else, I think the ‘break’ finally shook that loose. I could finally see passed the expectations.
And now, now I enjoy the soreness and bliss of his happiness. Of his pleasure in my pain.
My coffee tastes better this morning than it has in a long time.