Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Old is the new tired

I turned thirty this last year. And I recognize that in the overall scheme of my life, that’s not old. But I sure feel old. And along with all the aches and pains of my body apparently falling apart, I’ve been doing a lot reflection on my life in general. A year ago I was in a very bad place. I was looking for 24/7 control because I didn’t feel like I was doing a good job with my own life. And that wasn’t his responsibility, which may explain why it didn’t work out so well.

This year looks so much different. We are getting ready to move into our home. I have a part-time job and have started my own business. Sir is getting ready to start his own firm once we get settled in the new house. The kids are happy and healthy. That’s something. Getting older is all about perspective. Looking back and seeing how much I’ve changed and grown.

But I am a lot more tired than I used to be. With the kids and the jobs and the housework I’m just drained. When I finally get to sleep I can usually get around seven hours, which is good. But it doesn’t seem like it’s ever enough. And I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels that way. I just have to try and stay positive even as the tired takes over later in the day. My mood tends to slump and the kids are a bit more of a challenge. But it’s all little steps. In the big picture being a little tired is worth the happiness that we are working toward. The happiness we are experiencing.

So getting old(er) isn’t such a terrible thing. When I hit thirty last year I was fearful and depressed. But perspective is good.

And ten years ago I wasn’t seeing anyone or having sex at all. So that is one big plus for getting older.

See how other’s are aging much more gracefully than I am by reading their ‘getting older’ posts for this week’s Wicked Wednesday.

Wicked Wednesday for post Stockpiled Cravings

6 Responses to “Old is the new tired”

  • Delilah Night

    Kids definitely don’t help me feel young, either. But I hope you enjoy your thirties as much as I have–I feel like I’ve turned a huge corner in the past almost eight years, and am actually looking forward to turning 40 in 2018.

  • Marie Rebelle

    In the end it’s always about perspective, and doing the best you can every day, even if the best is very little. I’m almost 20 years your senior and sometimes I still feel 18, other days I feel 80. Let me tell you this: it only gets better as life moves on 🙂

    Rebel xox

  • Her Subject

    Yes, to my surprise, it keeps on getting better.

  • Velvet Rose

    It does get better…

    Velvet x

  • Her Subject

    I didn’t have time to elaborate the other day, but I didn’t want the words “it gets better” to be empty… So here is some concrete substance to back it up.
    As the children grow older, they’ll become more independent. Then you’ll have more free time. So that’s better. Unless you busy yourself again signing them up with all kinds of activities. But watching a soccer game busy is different from scraping shit from the pants kind of busy.
    If you are insistent on the kids cleaning up not just themselves, but the whole house and make it a fun game, they’ll be greater helpers. Except they might say “I worked so hard to make your bed. Don’t sleep on it, ever!”
    Daycare expense drops when kids are older.
    More advanced career-wise, more pay. So more money, less expenses, and more free time. That’s better. You can afford better beer. More toys. And more time to enjoy beer and toys.
    Many people (and I hope you do too) cares less of what other people thinks. That’s less stress. So that’s better.
    People around you tend to be more mature. And know better how to have fun. They just become more fun to be around. At least that’s my case as I gradually distant myself from bad people.
    When people around you have their shit together, and know how to have fun better than you do, that’s better.
    You have all these better things looking forward to.

    • Rye

      You certainly make the future sound bright. Thanks for adding those nice words.


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