Do you have glasses? If you do, take them off.
Now, if you did what I said, or you didn’t have glasses to take off, then this post isn’t really for you. You might be squinting, or maybe you can see just fine because your screen is close enough – either way, keep reading, but understand that the kernel of this post might not land for you.
Everyone else, those of you who thought, No, I can’t do that. I need my glasses… Pay especially close attention.
Rye is like you. She has glasses, and she needs them to see. Not, “drive,” or “see well,” or even, “see well enough to get along.” Just, to see. Which is why I take them away whenever I can when we are playing. She hates this, naturally, because by doing so I am genuinely disabling her. I am making her disabled –unable – without ability. Specifically, I am taking away her ability “to see in any meaningful way.” But that doesn’t mean that her eyes don’t function.
Now, consider the humble blindfold. It is a BDSM staple of such staggering commonality that it verges on the stereotypical. While visiting a purveyor of sadomasochistic utensils in Columbus, OH (The Chamber, which is totally worth a visit, if you ever have the chance), I chided the youth working the register when I came across the rack of gray ties. She told me, “Soccer moms have money, too.”
The blindfold is so ubiquitous because it is so useful in imparting something that all dom(me)s rely upon – suspense. Suspense turns upon belief and certainty, both of which require information. You can blindfold the sub and then take all the toys out. You can take all the toys out and then blindfold the sub – my personal preference. Or you can leave them their sight, and deny them the unknowing suspense, leaving them only with their knowing suspense.
Whether or not the sub has information to perpetuate their belief and/or certainty is something over which the domme/dom has explicit control. What the sub does with that information, however, is genuinely outside of the dom(me)’s control. I can show you the flogger, and I can tell you that I am going to flog your tits. I can’t make you believe me.
I imagine (but it’s not like I’ve done a survey or anything) that most dommes/doms think that this is annoying, but I would offer that, rather than annoying, this is awesome. If the goal of removing information is to cloud belief and certainty, then you can do much more than simply deny information. You can also offer clouded, or untrustworthy information. For example, I know that Rye can see just well enough to tell that I have something in my hand, but she can’t tell whether it’s a flogger, crop, baton, the extension tube from the vacuum (seriously, try one if you haven’t). So, she only knows that she’s going to get hit, but she can’t guess where, and she can’t guess what it’s going to feel like. More to the point, I know that she doesn’t trust what she sees when her glasses come off. All I have to do is take off the glasses, and she does the rest for me. Is he shoving his crotch in my face because he wants me to suck cock or because he wants to reach my ass? I guess I better open my mouth because, sucking or screaming, it’s required…
**Note from Rye: This is totally and completely true. I can see blobs of color without my glasses on and that’s about it. And it drives me nuts when he takes them. Sometimes I think he asks me to move around the room or hands me things just to see me wave my arms around like a zombie. Is zombie kink a thing?