Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Haves vs. Have Nots

The twitter boyfriend and I were talking about mindsets yesterday after my post. We are both submissives and sometimes we struggle to understand why dominant personalities do the things they do. Trying to understand their choices and motivations arouse me as much as they confuse me.

Twitter boyfriend saw Sir’s actions as wasting an opportunity. Why would he masturbate when a willing slave was right there? The only answer I had in the moment was that he understood that I was tired. But obviously he intended me to be awake when he came, so was my tiredness really a factor?

This led to a discussion of abundance. When you are a dominant, you have the control. You get to decide when, where, and how to experience your pleasure. Submissives take what is given. So I understand that he would see it as a missed chance. When you rarely get to have sex in general, much less come, I could see how making my back gooey wouldn’t be appealing. But from a dominant’s perspective, it was just what he was feeling at that moment. And when you have the option to wake your sub up in the middle of the night for oral or a rough fuck, you don’t have to question your desires. It’s that control of knowing when your next orgasm will be because you can order it whenever you want.

A submissive, even if orgasm control isn’t a kink, usually can’t guarantee their next release. When you don’t get to come very often, or even just as often as you’d like, it is hard not to be jealous of those who do. But that comes with the territory of being a sub. And I know that Sir likes to know that I am in a near constant state of horniness. I think that is why he doesn’t mind if I flirt with others online as it keeps me ready for his use whenever he pleases.

The moral of the story is: you should be a dominant and then you can have sex whenever, however you want. Including spraying cum all over your sub’s back and rubbing her camisole in it while she tries to sleep.

3 Responses to “Haves vs. Have Nots”

  • James

    I face this dilemma sometimes as a dominant and understand. However, sometimes doing something like that is more about the control. I decide and if I always decide on vaginal or oral sex, it can get stale. Hope that makes sense.

    • Rye

      It does. And I understand that the control aspect. I think that is the most important think for Sir when he recognizes that I am a bit drained after a scene, but he still wants me to feel his dominance.

  • ancilla ksst

    Back 5 years ago, when I wasn’t a slave, when I was free to have as many orgasms as I wanted, want to know how much I masturbated? Rarely. Maybe a couple times a year, if that? Now, when I’m restricted to one session of masturbating a day? I use it almost every day unless it is his day off work or I’m really busy doing other stuff. Even being sick doesn’t make me give up my orgasm.

    Also, back then when we had sex I only ever had one orgasm per time, except on really special times when I would have two. Sometimes I had none. Now? I don’t even count them, but generally there are a lot because he put it on command and he really, really likes to give that command. So, I’m practically swimming in orgasms and I’m more constantly horny than I ever was before. It’s a counter intuitive thing.

    His work the opposite way. If he has one, then he’s probably not going to want another for 1-2 days. So, yeah, I understand that feeling like a wasted opportunity. But it wasn’t wasted for him, as he got to exactly as he wanted.

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