Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Balance

A new friend on Fetlife asked me about balancing my submission with young children. They then commented that they found the blog, but considering how bad it was yesterday I had to laugh. I don’t balance my submission and my kids. They laugh at me as they control my day more than Sir ever has (or wants to). Currently I spend my day making snacks, washing clothes, and trying to keep them from injury. My 21mo thinks that climbing on furniture and opening every cabinet in my new kitchen is a fun afternoon. The dog and I just sigh as their toys litter the floor around us.

But that is just the daytime ‘routine’, if you can call that hectic mess a routine. Then Sir gets home from work and everything shifts. I try to have dinner underway, if not finished, by the time he arrives. But, if the kids feel the need to push my patience, I can be an emotional mess when he walks in the door. Then he thinks that I have had a bad day (when it may have only been twenty minutes) and doesn’t want to hold me to our rules to give me a break. Which then puts me in a worse mood as I feel like a crappy sub and mom for not being able to reign them in and keep it together. I want him to hold me to those high standards; nothing makes me feel weaker than having him have to change his expectations because of my mood.

So balance is definitely still a struggle. I am hopeful that once the summer program starts at the end of May and they are running around with other kids all day that things will improve. Being able to get back to my work will be amazing. Feeling at least somewhat productive in my professional life will certainly help to ground me in other life areas. But I guess I am fighting the change in routine as much as they are.

Hopefully balance will be an attainable goal sooner rather than later, but right now the submission is out of wack. Being horny and ruled by your kids is not the happiest place to be.

4 Responses to “Balance”

  • ancilla ksst

    What is it about just before dinner time that brings out the worst in little kids?? Mine always turned into little hell raisers at that hour, and didn’t even matter if they had had a snack or not. Now that they are older those days are past!

    • Rye

      Good to know it might only be a phase 🙂

  • Her Subject

    Corrupt the children then you don’t have to worry about it.
    6 yo daughter: Can I get a whip for my birthday?
    Me: Sure. But you have to wait until at least 10 years old. And you have to behave and clean up yourself all the time. Make your bed, pick up your toys, and take care of your baby brother and sister… bath them and help changing diapers…
    Daughter: Yay!!! Can you teach me how to crack the whip then?
    Me: Only if you be quiet everyday doing your readings for more than an hour every day until then…
    Daughter: Yay!!! Can I bring you a beer? Teach me how to open it… Can I get a chocolate now?

    Kidding aside, it’s difficult with young children. We’d have stretches of 10 days being vanilla AND no sex.

    • Rye

      That is amazing. The 4yo is all about ‘helping’, but not sure I’ve corrupted him yet. Working on it though.

      Hopefully it will calm as they get older. Fingers crossed.

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