Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

The Best Part

He came to the house and shook Sir’s hand. The small talk was awkward once Sir left and Sean* closed the gap between us immediately. The dog wouldn’t calm down and was soon put outside. Then the ground rules were laid,

“You will call me Sir for the rest of the time I’m here.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Rye's ass after Sean gave punishmentI earned several over the knee swats as I forgot a few times. Soon Sean wanted to see the rest of the house and we headed up to the bedroom. Moments later I was cuffed and blindfolded. He had attached a strap around one breast when there was a knock at the front door. We were both caught off guard, but I thought I did well to not freak out.  A neighbor wasn’t too happy about our dog outside barking, so I went to down to apologize (covering up, of course) and getting the dog inside and calmed down. When I got back upstairs I was quickly blindfolded again before I could see what he had pulled out of his bag.

Rye kneeling with breast bondage by SeanHe ordered me to kneel to attempt my first task. I was to take him balls deep twenty times. My nose had to touch his belly or it wouldn’t count. And I only had a minute to do it. I wasn’t even sure I could do one. The time started when I took him in my mouth. My hands were cuffed behind my back and the blindfold was on, so small movements were all I could do to find him. Once I did one I felt so proud of myself I almost stopped. But I remember the time limit and kept going. Several gags later and his phone buzzed. I only got to seventeen. He had me stand up and lean over the bed to get my punishment. Five swats for each of the three I missed. Then he had me open my mouth to ‘test’ my skills with an open mouth gag. I had never worn one before, Sir has been looking at getting one for several months. It felt weirder than I expected; like I couldn’t find the proper place to put my tongue. And while his dick fit farther in mouth with my jaw held open, my gag reflex did not. I ended up throwing up and without the ability to swallow, it ran down my chest instead. Luckily I was blindfolded, so I couldn’t see the gross. His only comment was, ‘mind over matter’ and continued fucking my mouth like nothing was going on. Rye licking Sean's balls

Then my pussy was put to work. His speed continued to change as he found a rhythm he liked and different positions. I guess my pussy was worth testing out as he had me move around a lot. Bent over the bed, on my knees on the bed, on my back, on top of him. But he found one that let him get really deep. After he came he took off my cuffs and let me clean up. The awkward small talk returned as we both got dressed and he packed his bag. When we returned downstairs we exchanged small pleasantries and he left.

And here’s the rub folks. I was kind of disappointed. I hope if Sean reads this he isn’t too offended, I’m just trying to share my experience. It was nice to be blindfolded, I could just focus on his orders. But the whole thing lacked passion. I’m not sure if regular D/s is supposed to have passion, but it’s something I’ve always wanted.

I think I was just putting too much pressure on this. I wanted this to be so much. And it just wasn’t. I even turned into my mom a few times with some of my pet peeves. He chewed gum. Not just when he arrived, which I completely understand. But he kept chewing it through the entire scene. It was wintergreen. I guess I shouldn’t let it bother me so much, he didn’t kiss me very often. And he left his socks on. I only realized it after he took the blindfold off, so I guess it didn’t really matter. But it’s so hard to for me to take you seriously as a Dom if you are standing there naked with black socks on.

Ok, I know this sounds extreme, but I felt like a booty call. No niceties. Nothing. He talked during the scene less than Sir does. A few orders to move and that was it. No moans. I was called a bitch once (apparently not a fan of that I have realized). But no ‘that’s hot’, no ‘you’re sexy’. It was just a bit of a let down. It was a new experience, and that I am glad of. Just not sure it is one I want to repeat.

He was strict, which was nice. I think my whimpers are a lot for Sir. He does his best to stay strong, but I can be kind of a baby sometimes. Sean said that it was pretty vanilla for him, but it was pretty kinky for me. Maybe I’m not as kinky as I thought I was. Not that I’m ashamed of that. Just back to the drawing board I guess. If I am going to work to balance another Dom into my already hectic life, I want to at least feel like it is mutually beneficial. Is that crazy? I am worried that this less than spectacular experience means that I am really asking for too much in a friend that also wants to fuck me sometimes.

But the best part….The best part is that Sir and I are fine. I was worried about this changing us. About it being everything that I wanted and then me demanding more. Or him becoming distrustful and regretting loaning me out. But it wasn’t any of those things. We went to dinner last night and Sir was talking about how ten years ago this would never have been on the table. That old me would have balked at the idea of sex with another person and his jealousy would have flared up merely at the thought. But both of us felt good. We had great sex in the afternoon. We went to dinner out and a movie. It’s actually the most relaxed and happy I think either of us have been in a long while, certainly since the move. We walked over this speed bump that we used to consider an Everest. And we managed to stay in one piece.

Neither one of us is giving up on finding friends and playmates. Maybe friends with benefits for the both of us could be good. But we know we can handle it and that makes my experience with Sean worth it, even if it wasn’t the most memorable. He and I just didn’t have the chemistry and the fit, but maybe someone else will. And if not, oh well. I’m sure Sir won’t mind if I am just his handful to deal with for the foreseeable future. Because I will always be his.

*Name has been changed for privacy.

This completes #41 of my 101 Things in 1001 days, namely to let Sir loan me out to another Dominant. Hopefully not the last time #41 gets attempted.

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4 Responses to “The Best Part”

  • Ferns

    I wanted to comment after seeing your tweet about aftercare consisting of a ‘you ok?’ text.

    Honestly, it sounds like a vanilla one nighter (not that there’s anything wrong with that): he came in, there was oral and PIV sex, he left. Plus blindfold.

    If that’s what you were expecting, then that would be fine.

    But passion, and *violent* passion (if that’s what you wanted, and who doesn’t, because hot!) doesn’t look or feel like that.

    Did you know him, did you have a connection, something to build passion on top of? Or was it essentially a stranger meetup?

    In short: I don’t think that what you experienced was anything close to what it might be if everything was firing. This is a reason I don’t really do ‘casual’, because it kind of always feels like this :/.


    • Rye

      Maybe that’s it. Maybe because he saw it as more vanilla and casual he didn’t really see the need for aftercare. And the word passion was absent from everything, violent or otherwise.

      I had been talking to him for awhile. But we hadn’t met before and it was a chance meet up as my mother-in-law took the kids early for the weekend. It wasn’t really thought through, if I’m honest. That’s why I don’t like to blame him, it’s was flawed from the start.

  • Malflic

    Similar to what Ferns has said it sounds a bit like pick up play with some elements of kinky sex. Again nothing wrong with it if that’s what you want. But it seems it was not. If it makes your feel any better we’ve all had scenes that miss the mark, or leave us hollow. Sometimes even with people we know well and play with regularly.

    On the after care piece. I’m the first person to admit that aftercare is a challnege for me at times, expecially if there is another Top in the scene (or relationship) and my role is as the “3rd partner”. It doesn’t make it right and i’ve learned to ask about what a person typically wants or needs after a scene before it begins. And the answers are as varied as the days and people.

  • Marie Rebelle

    It definitely sounds as if the chemistry between you and Sean is absent. Have you met him before this scene or was this the first time you met him? I might have missed this information somewhere. We always meet potential play partners in a vanilla setting for a first meeting. If the click is absent, we won’t play. This doesn’t mean we always avoid disappointments, though, but it does make it easier to talk about. Also, there’s always aftercare and him going away without giving you aftercare, even though he said it was pretty vanilla to him, is wrong. He should have checked on you before he left. I guess it’s back to the drawing board indeed. I am thrilled that you and your husband are okay after this! The primary relationship is always the most important 🙂

    Rebel xox


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