I used to dance when I was younger. I always enjoyed recitals and performing. Our competition team marched in all the holiday parades and walking and dancing down the street was always fun. In high school I participated in band, choir, drama as well as my physical activities. Performing was never really a nerves things for me. However, since college I’ve become much more introverted. Some of this due to the depression and PTSD, some due to lack of opportunities.
Even with all of these performance experiences, the idea of public sex leaves me with a bit of dread. Maybe just a fear of judgement. You could tell me that I was a crap dancer and I would’ve gone back to the studio and practiced more. If you tell me that my public sex scene was flat, I’m not sure I could recover half as well. However, that almost makes it more exciting.
I’ve always felt that sex in ‘real life’ is less amazing than what is shown in movies and even porn. It’s just so much messier and gruntier (it’s a word in my world). But in most senses, in my opinion, that makes it better. Watching two people (or more) just devour each other in passion is mesmerizing. I would like to think I could show that to an audience as much as I love watching it. But I guess, I’m not sure that the audience turns me on. Having someone watching me and my partner(s) probably wouldn’t change my personal enjoyment. I try to be in the moment with my gooey sexy time that it’s possible I wouldn’t even notice the onlookers. Maybe that’s a good thing. That way they could get a truer show.
I understand that some people get a thrill out of an audience to watch and feed energy from as they pleasure themselves or others. I tend to get into my own head during sex too much to notice anyone but me and my partner. More so if I’m in a scene as my submissive head space is a zone of response to Sir’s orders. Maybe an audience would change that. Guess I’ll have to add it to the list of ‘someday try’ and for now enjoy the lovely stories that other’s share.
Enjoy reading some of those other stories by checking out this week’s prompt Audience for this week’s Wicked Wednesday.