So Sir and I were having a conversation last night about stress and money stuff. I hate money stuff, but Sir trusts me to take care of it. Anyway, the conversation goes like this:
Sir: It’s just stressful.
Sir: And this is what has turned me into a sexless monk.
Quite a riveting exchange, wasn’t it? Because what was I supposed to say? Yeah, it’s fine that we only have sex once a week. Of course it’s okay that I spend more time building Legos with our 4yo than I do naked. I am trying to be supportive. Trying to understand that the last few months have been crazy for both of us that we are trying to deal with things in our own way. So nodding along as become the obvious option.
But I won’t lie and say that it’s not hard. I flip from being wildly horny to blindingly frustrated at the kids all day. That balance has been hard to maintain lately. I don’t know how it changed, but my sex drive has actually made intimacy more difficult. At least it seems like that to me. I am always turned on, so he feels intimidated. Again, that is just my viewpoint. And that creates stress for both of us.
So how do I help the sexless monk? I think he is only saying that because he knows we aren’t having as much sex as I would like. Or maybe he’s just not attracted to me specifically. My worry-wart mind has run through several possibilities. But most of them lead back to stress. We both wanted to get into this house and I think we expected everything to settle down. This whole adult thing has been hard to swallow. And our kids have had a great time reminding us how green we really are.
So, maybe we have to be sexless monks for awhile. And when the stress settles we can get back to enjoying each other and maybe even a few new people.