Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Feeling Useful

I’m finishing up my third week at my new job. I think the honeymoon period of feeling perfectly qualified is over. I just want to feel useful. Tell me to do something. I’m not saying it will be perfect the first time, but I’ll ask questions, take notes, and fix whatever corrections you have. However, I won’t complain, and the next time I won’t ask the same questions or make the same mistakes.

It’s a bit like starting a relationship with a new Dom. I don’t know all the rules, and punishments will be required. After a few days and scenes though, I will have it figured out. I will learn all the ins and outs of what you want. Eventually, I won’t need told at all. I will have the system down. Your coffee will be perfectly prepared and your shirts ironed just so. Once you show me once (twice if I’m tired or drunk) you can expect the world. If I disappoint you it’s my own fault and I will probably beat myself up more than you.

I always thought I would be a great personal assistant. Getting pleasure from delivering a perfectly toasted bagel or keeping their schedule organized. But that’s not the job I have. I am trying to learn the quirks of the three people I work with. I keep trying to get them to show me how to complete certain projects to help take things off their plates. Most of our conversation stem from them talking about the piles on their desks and how overwhelmed they are.

I can only ask so many times if they have something for me to do though. Finally today I sat back down at my desk and sent myself an email with things I wanted to remember to do tonight. I have a grocery list going too. My desk can’t be organized anymore. I think I may just start cleaning the two empty desks in our office tomorrow. It will at least get me out of my chair and make me feel useful for a bit.

I’m just whining. And it’s the Friday before a long weekend, so it seems an even sillier time to do so. We are heading to my parents, so I will have several useful opportunities there. As they get ready to move into a smaller townhouse they are de-cluttering on scale not seen in that farm house before. Several ciders and some traditional grilled food for the fourth of July should make for a pretty relaxing weekend all around. Maybe after a few drinks I won’t care about feeling useful for anyone but Sir.


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