Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Lock Me Up

A year ago I would have said that the very idea of a chastity belt was off the table. Hard limit, full stop.

Oh the difference a year makes.

In thinking about this topic and why I always shied away from chastity it always came back to the comfort. I just didn’t feel like I would be able to wear any sort of metal device under my clothes at the office or around family. It would be too obvious to me and therefore would be obvious to everyone else. Then there was also the physical comfort of being able to use the bathroom. It just didn’t seem hygienic to me. And coming from a person who regularly refuses to use public bathrooms, hygiene is a thing.

The last several months have brought about a change of heart, however. I’m not shopping online for custom designs just yet, but I am certainly more open to the idea. The issues with work may still exist, but I have seen a lot more styles and options that could be concealed with some regularity. I don’t wear skin-tight clothes that often anyway. And I’m sure the daily wear of any chastity device would come with time. I’ve also talked to people who wear chastity daily and they do not have any health issues that I was concerned about.

I think I’m just starting to look at the possible benefits of being locked up. With Sir struggling with his sex drive, I am wondering if it could be a good idea. If I’m in chastity then he wouldn’t feel any pressure to preform. I’m sure I would struggle for the first few weeks. Is there such a thing as horny/sex withdrawal? But if I could get through that, then I think maybe we could end up in a good place. I could feel my submission and he could process his stress without feeling guilty about my sexual satisfaction.

Obviously when Jack would come to visit, or I would visit him, we could take it off. Maybe I could even give him his own key. I could be sex crazed for a few days and then Sir could lock me up again. We haven’t really talked about playing with other aside from Jack at this point, but it’s not like chastity would prohibit that conversation.

This isn’t a complete thought, and I’m sure I’m forgetting a ton of things which make this a bad idea. Probably the fact that I think it will help with my horniness problem should be a red flag. It does seem like it could be a viable option though. Sir could use me when he wanted, but other than that I would be locked up. Right now if I go more than a few days without an orgasm I’m a cranky mess. With the option of even masturbating taken out of my hands (hehe, see what I did there) maybe I could push through.

So 2017 may see me looking into more chastity options. I haven’t talked to Sir about it, so I’ll be curious to know his opinion when he reads this. As someone who loves sex and craves it often, I didn’t think I would ever warm to the idea of chastity. But restricting sex may be an solution to a problem I didn’t know I had.

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6 Responses to “Lock Me Up”

  • Naga di Kandang

    I look forward to hearing how this goes, if it happens. I obviously can’t speak directly to the experience of being a woman in chastity, but it’s one of my favorite kinks both as dom and as sub. And everyone’s experience is different anyway.

    I tend to go through a period (5 days? 7? it varies) of horny as hell, but then sort of settle into the inevitability of it. Frankly, that becomes less fun for both of us, which is why we’ve only done longer than 7-10 days on rare occasions. Then it can exciting again as an endurance challeng. Teasing helps prolong the period of frustration, but that’s probably easier for a man with an open cage. Sex with Jack or being unlocked to be used might serve the same role or re-awakening the libido. Or your libido might not quiesce at all.

    Have you done much with non-device denial? You talk about cranky mess, but I’m not sure whether that’s ordered/declared denial as part of D/s or just as it happens. It’s really not the same experience, at least for me, but might give you a taste before you drop a significant chunk of change on a belt (men have cheaper options, though I do have a full belt). And both experiences have their unique charms for me.

    Oh, and they feel much more visible through clothes than they actually are.

  • Tamar

    I feel like such a wet blanket here…ugh. But gotta speak up about something- how comfortable is your Sir with you and Jack? You appear to be right smack in the middle of a nasty case of NRE and speaking from experience- that can wreck an existing relationship that already has cracks in it (like the sexual problems you guys are having right now). If your Sir is dealing with this problem, and you’re not only being frustrated and upset with him instead of patient and understanding and chasing off after your new paramour and shifting your sexual excitement and desires to him, well…how’s your Sir feeling about all of that? Because if he’s bothered, at all about it, you need to pull back, put the breaks on, and deal with your main relationship and do whatever you can to help your Sir and reassure him and put him at ease and help with his stress and ideally, get you two back on equal sexual footing again before you dive headfirst into your secondary relationship. To do otherwise is to widen a rift and damage your main relationship as you put your own wants first at the expense of your Sir’s feelings. If you and your Sir have spent a lot of time talking openly and honestly about all of this and he is really (really, really) comfortable with you and Jack and you transferring your sexual feelings to him (which, honestly- I’m finding it a little hard to imagine he would be, but- this is something you should know without a doubt) then perhaps all of the above is moot and doesn’t apply to you. But, right now- it seems to me that the most important thing is that you’re putting in plenty of time and energy on maintaining/fixing/improving your main relationship and making sure your Sir is really on the same page as you about all of this and not just grudgingly going along with it. Hate to beat the “unfun drum”, just…been there, done that, and got the divorce to show from it. Don’t let NRE eat you alive, and don’t let it make you leave your Sir behind.

    • Rye

      I guess the only answer I can give is, “I think so”. Everything he has said has been supportive toward Jack and I. He’s been good about me going to California and about him coming here. He’s been patient with me as I’ve struggled with sexual frustration. I’ve tried to do check-ins to make sure he is still good with everything, and he does seem to be. I’ll admit I’m not sure how much I should push for assurances.

  • Molly

    This is a really interesting look at chastity and the role it could potentially play. For me, it is a huge no go, like you I have a high sex drive and I need the orgasms and fucking to keep me sane. Denial unless very short term, does nothing for me apart from make me miserable so I don’t think this would ever work for me in the way you are considering. I would never get to that place of acceptance and it wouldn’t help me to feel submissive. Actually I think it would make me so resentful that it could actually have a very negative impact on our D/s dynamic.

    I will be very interested to hear what you decide though and if this ends up being something that works for you.

    Mollyxxx

    • Rye

      I am a little worried that that would be the result also. I’m not sure how my mood would react. I think if it was done in a complete 24/7 D/s way it could work, but we haven’t been there in so long I think it would just lead to resentment.

  • Bee

    You’re a far braver woman than I. For me personally chastity wouldn’t be a way to deal with our sex drive imbalance. Denying me long term just makes me grumpy and moody, I need that release and if I have to get the release alone then so be it. I like the idea as long as it’s a short term thing, also I can’t get beyond the bathroom and hygiene issues!

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