Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Pulling Back

So I’ve started masturbating about 3-4 times a week lately. Some sessions are better than others. The other night I probably could have squirted had I pushed myself. But I often pull back from really letting go. Not sure what sort of insecurity that’s pulling from, but it always catches me. Maybe I just feel like I don’t deserve it. Or just the idea of letting go like that on my own doesn’t feel right. Like I need to have permission, or I need someone else to ground me.

I guess if I’m honest with myself it’s about trust. I have to believe that it’s okay to actually enjoy myself rather than just looking for a quick orgasm so I can sleep. Something to take the edge off. Not necessarily something that I would actually enjoy.

Do you pull yourself back when you’re on your own?

2 Responses to “Pulling Back”

  • Rose Bliss

    Yes, I tend to pull back or hold back too. I’m not sure why.. fear, guilt, shame.. I’m trying to get over that.

    • Rye

      I think there is certainly shame in it for me too. Good luck for you losing it as I will keep trying as well.

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