I have an IUD. I’ve had it since the end of 2014 and subsequently have not had a period since around the middle of 2015. Which sounds amazing, and does have certain perks, i.e. I’ve saved a lot of money on tampons. But even though I don’t have the cramping, I still have the emotional drop and mood swings. It makes my depression medication work extra hard to get me through the day and often fails miserably. And, considering the day to day issues I’ve been having with my boss at work, I was dreading this month’s drop.
I also love to sew. Since moving about a year and half ago I’ve had my sewing machine set up, but I’m not sure I’ve had it on more than a handful of times. My grand designs of having several quilts ready to go to give as gifts for Christmas last year fizzled quickly. And between all the job, kid, and husband stress over the last year my space has been largely ignored. But making things is a huge confidence boost for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love to write, but having something tactile in my hand is a different productive feeling. I’m sure if I ever had a book published it would feel the same. Something I made. Even better is when it’s appreciated and/or used by someone. I think that pulls back to my submission and caring for others.
All that plot exposition was all to prep you for my first task from my Sir. We were talking about my low mood and I mentioned sewing being a good outlet for that. He had asked about it and all I could really come up with was that my creative space in the basement had become a catch-all for various things.
I dramatized it a bit about how bad it was, but I’m sure in my head it was that bad and that’s why I wasn’t motivated to clean it up. He told me to send him pictures when I got home from work on Friday; that maybe this would be a good project for me.
I was honestly surprised at how good I felt just thinking about a task. It had been so long since I’d even been presented with the possibility. Even through my emotional fog, I felt motivated to try and get back to something that made me happy. When I got home I immediately went to downstairs to take photos. I’ll admit I tried to get angles that would show the worst of the piles.
It may not have been as bad as I originally described to him, but it wasn’t great. I had cleaned off the couch the week before when we had to take the kids down for a tornado warning. I think the angle from the couch is what was sticking in my head when we were talking. I think it’s just the piles that threw me off. And the amount of stuff that isn’t actually mine. Everything from records that were left in the house when we moved in to clothes belonging to my mother. My creative space had been overrun by things that needed sorted and/or sold. But, without this motivation it would probably continue sitting like this until closer to Christmas when I need to wrap presents. Though that would be more of wiping my arm across the table so I have a flat space to work. This was going to be a much larger task.