Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Hide and Go Seek

Hide and go seek is not a game that Sir likes to play. About the only thing worse is tickling him. But sometimes I get the playful urge to run and hide before I consider the consequences of my actions. It’s when I’m hiding and I hear his footsteps coming across the room that I remember the predicament that I’ve just placed myself. And then all I can do is wait for him to find me.

Because even if he hates the game, he still always wins.

Sirs feet and legs walking by with a crop as we play hide and go seek.

 

Don’t forget to see who else is (mis)behaving in this week’s Sinful Sunday.

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Tipsy Shopping

I’m not a big drinker (unless you count coffee). I get quite ill (no TMI, I promise), so I haven’t really over-indulged since college. And, especially now that I am trying to diet and count calories, I have reduced my alcohol intake even more. My favorite ciders have too many calories to have very often, and drinking water is a lot cheaper anyway.

But every once in awhile I have enough calories left at the end of the day to have a drink with dinner or as a nice relaxing dessert. A shot or two of rum in a mixed drink can go a long way and not kill my diet. My tolerance has dropped significantly since college and one or two drinks gets me to a pretty comfortable state of tipsy. I get more handsy with Sir; I have to watch my language around the kids. I think I get more entertaining, though I’m not sure Sir would say that.

I have found something that he does enjoying doing while I’m tipsy heading toward drunk: shopping for sex toys. I found that I will agree to try just about any toy. I normally balk at the idea of the cost of some and how much they might hurt. But give me a cocktail and the idea of a cat of nine tails seems wonderful.

So…moral of the story is…give me a drink and I’ll think all forms of BDSM are a great idea. And, Sir and I will have to monitor the post over the next week so the kids don’t intercept any packages 🙂

Sir’s Toy

Sometimes being his toy has it’s benefits.

This is another shot from our scene last week. Sir has taken to designing fun new contraptions with our toys. This is our Doxy and a dildo attached to a wooden pole. He found this to be quite entertaining. I moaned a lot.

Rye tied up in the basement with Sir's toy contraption.

Check out how other lovely blogs took the prompt of toys by clicking below.

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Parenting Fail

So I’m technically middle aged now. *Shudder* My youngest cousin is six years younger that me, so I haven’t had to look for children’s toys for a long time. And then I had to do a silly thing like have kids. Now we are up to our ears in bright colored plastic and demands for items that make my ears bleed.

But somehow, as a child, I seemed to miss all the suggestive pieces and parts of toys. Maybe it’s just been since I found my kinky side, but so many things seem to have a multi-use option that I never saw before.

I get rid of the packaging on my kids toys, because my toddler would attempt to eat them if I don’t. So I couldn’t get any pictures of the hilarious statements on some of them. But I did find some great pieces from Ellen that show how questionable some toys can be.

I am pretty sure my cousin had that Tarzan. And I think maybe I did get the joke, even though I was only 12 at the time. Maybe I am not as innocent as I consider myself.

And I think I would love to give several people one of those batman squirt guns. I think my conservative family Christmas would never be the same. Probably because I wouldn’t be invited anymore.
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Afternoon Delight

Bad things happy when the husband encourages me to try and come as many times as I can during the day and take pictures for him. And by bad things, I mean that my twitter feed was flooded with photos of my attempt. For those of you who have not yet become addicted to Twitter I have posted some of them below.

Today just needed to be a recoup day. Monday and Tuesday were spend in the car, taking care of various things for the house and my job. When I tried to sit down at the computer this morning my brain just shut off. So aside from some catch up on laundry, I’m just trying to float today. Several orgasms and a quick lunch have helped. I already have a game plan for tomorrow, so relaxing today has been beneficial.

And hey, any excuse to post pictures of my bits across the internet. Right? Right.

My mother just shuttered in her desk chair and she has no idea why.

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Rounds 1-3: Butt plug and wand with occasional DP with a dildo.DSCN1725

Rounds 4-5: Wand and dildo.

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Round 6-7: Needed a quick shave to give the wand and my clit a break. But once I was smooth the wand did a great job to finish out the morning.

Now my clit is craving a good slow lick and my nipples feel quite left out. The husband has a business trip tomorrow, but maybe I can ask nicely (or beg, let’s be honest) if he could help me out tonight. All this amazing sex may have to last me until next week.

Heavy Breathing

I crave sex a lot. Orgasms are lovely; don’t trust anyone who tells you different. But the feeling after sex is what I really desire. After really rough sex, you know that kind where your hair gets pulled and you feel it for hours afterward, you are left catching your breath. Collasped on the bed and just feeling your body pulse as the endorphins rush around.

I try to lay still as long as possible. Once I catch my breath and the pulsing in my pussy stops I may roll over or curl up for a few moments. Eventually I do have to move along to the bathroom. Either to get dressed again or return to bed to pass out. The whole process doesn’t last very long, but it’s the most peaceful moment of the day. And sadly, for obvious reasons, I cannot reach this feeling by myself. Don’t get me wrong, I can (and have) had some amazing orgasms while alone. But that’s not the same as the breathless release that only rough sex can provide. Admittedly, even oral sex, which Sir is quite adept at, doesn’t end in the same sense of peaceful relaxation.

However, there won’t be much heavy breathing over the next few days. At my parents, if we do get to sleep without the kids in the same room, we still rarely get up to anything outside oral sex. Not a complaint, just a reality. Hopefully next week, since Sir’s big presentation is done at work, we can have a bit more fun. It’s always best to stay hopeful. Until then I guess I’ll just have to suffer through Doxy massage and Sir’s mouth for my peaceful moments.

Secretions

Doesn’t that word sound gross. Secretions. It’s like moist; I hate that word too. But is it really the word, or it’s definition? And why? I mean, men secrete semen. More than 50% of the population thinks that’s the greatest thing in the world. And being part of that happy percentage, I have to wonder why the term always has a negative connotation. But it does.

Last night Sir was good to me. Not that he isn’t always good to me, but yesterday was rough in many ways. Just my overactive anxiety about the house inspection report and the build up of housework. By the time he got home from work I was stressed and worked my way up to tired crazy. So after the kids went to bed (they actually both passed out by 8:30) he had me get into my new present position. Back straight, forehead on the floor, palms up. After a few minutes the doxy was making my legs shake so bad I had to ask to move. Sir let me lay on my back on the edge of the bed. Between the doxy and him playing with my nipples and rubbing my body, it was honestly one of the strongest orgasms I can remember. And I squirted. A lot. I’m sure part of it was urine too (sorry if that was TMI).

As I lay there in my glow of orgasmic bliss I will admit it was dampened by the movement of Sir to pile towels under me and clean up ‘my mess’. I mean, we lay in a gooey pile of his cum all the time, so why the rush to clear away my goo? Maybe he was just encouraging me to not get too comfortable. I mean, he’s nice, but not all about the nonreciprocal charity. After a good beating and some rough fucking, I would like to think he had a nice orgasm as well.

So anyway, back to my fluids. I guess I just don’t know why generally a male fluid is seen as ok, while female fluids are not. I know that a lot of people (kinky people, mostly) think that squirting is a great achievement, but they never show the clean up. Eating cum is always shown in porn as amazing (I certainly don’t mind it). But I’ve never heard of anyone drinking squirt fluid (if it has a special name, I don’t know it). I think people just have too many connections with fluids coming out of vaginas and none of them good. I mean, Sir watched me give birth to both of our children, I’m surprised he wants to spend time down there at all. And then, of course, there is the monthly visitor that makes me feel gross. Women are, at least in my family/area/culture, made to look at period blood and other vaginal secretions as dirty. I get the yeast infection side of it, but normally isn’t wet and gooey a good thing?

Either way, I’m not going to feel bad about my messy but amazing orgasms. Sir allows me (orders me sometimes) to have some wonderful orgasms and the resulting goo is just my body saying thank you for them. And I will continue to happily show my gratitude.

*Just for clarification, Sir doesn’t shame me for squirting or making any messes during sex. His actions were reactionary and not a form of judgement. They just got me thinking.

New Toy

So tomorrow I turn 30. I’ve been working on a post for a while now, but it just sounds like I’m whining. Fingers crossed that it comes together, for your sake as much as mine.

But last night I was just so happy that Sir was feeling better, I decided that a nice clean shave was in order. He agreed and monitored my work. I had a few strays (TMI?), but he helped me get them taken care off in his lovely sadist way. I think we made his cunt look pretty good.

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He thought it was acceptable too. So much so, in fact, that it inspired him to give me one of my birthday presents early. I’m a sucker for a gift, so I was happy to let him spoil me. And I was certainly spoiled:

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Isn’t it pretty? Sir bought it at Stockroom. This is my first hitachi-like vibrator.

I’ve never really had much luck with vibrators. Generally, a bullet vibe or even the vibrating dildos that I’ve tried just don’t get me there. I think for years I physically fought enjoying it. My brain demanded a physical connection with another person. Probably why masturbation was always a challenge too.

However, as I venture into my thirties tomorrow I am ‘seeing the light’ in many ways. Have a relaxing full orgasm through masturbation is still very difficult, but maybe my new toy can help. It certainly has a lot of power. Sir decided to test it out on his new clean shaven pussy. It is probably the most powerful sensation I’ve had on my clit at one time. I can completely understand how these things can be used for pain or pleasure. I’m not sure exactly which Sir was going for. I came, really hard, but I was also squirming all over the bed. Even after I came he kept it pressed to my clit and I could feel my entire pussy throbbing.

I love my new toy. I’m a little bummed that I’ve spent the first thirteenish years of my sexual activity without one. Looks like I have some time to make up for.

Hitting the Rim

I have tried things since entering the world of BDSM that I didn’t even know existed two years ago. Looking back, my vanilla life was so innocent as it pertains to my sexual knowledge. Who knew the massive education that D/s would provide?

One of the largest areas of new territory (no pun intended) has been toys and activities pertaining to asses. I use the plural in this sense, because this also includes Sir’s ass. One of the first BDSM things we tried was during our switch phase where I would top him. I had a harness and would peg him. He loved it. It was quite the experience for me too. You know, having a penis and all. But that was how I really entered the world of using one’s ass in a sexual way.

As our roles changed and firmly cemented me into the submissive role, our pegging play fell by the wayside. Then it was my turn. This is the first plug that Sir bought for me. To prepare for it and subsequently anal sex, I had to start putting fingers in my ass while in the shower. Something I never in my life thought I would do. But this process has been all about pushing myself. So I eventually upgraded to my pretty glass plug; which recently passed away, and has already been replaced. And after the first awkward experience, we now have anal sex often. My comfort level has grown immensely in the last year.

Recently, Sir has decided to try something new. Over the last month we have been incorporating me giving him rim jobs into our play. Talk about things I never thought I would do.  But it was a lot easier than I thought. And his reaction is always a good motivator. Hearing him moan and appreciate my service is wonderful. It’s not my favorite thing in the world to do. I’d be lying if I tried to go that far. But as far as things that make him happy, it’s a lot easier than taking a beating from the angry red bastard. But it has been an interesting addition. We have been incorporating it slowly, as both of us are getting comfortable with our limits. Just like playing with new sexual positions, we are working through what our bodies with allow us to do. Nothing makes me feel older than trying to get into a position for some sexual play (sex, oral, anal, etc.) and finding that I cannot manage it. But it’s all about experimenting.

There are so many nerves in the ass (just in case you didn’t know). Even just the simple pressure of my tongue can turn him on. I like to think that my tongue has special powers, but nothing proved this like a rim job. I honestly think he enjoys it almost as much as a blow job. Admittedly, I like giving blow jobs more, but I have thing for cock.

As difficult as this process has been as a whole, adding new things has been easy. It’s these little steps forward that keep me realizing that I can do this. I mean, if I can make him moan by licking his ass then I must be doing something right.

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